Carnivore
by PteraWaters
Summary: After Spike has a vision of his favorite slayer in mortal trouble, can he get to her in time? How will Angel feel about being left behind? Will Buffy take to being the damsel in distress? Angel/Spike/Buffy.'S9-ish' V/S Archives. M for so many reasons.
1. You're Spike, Not Him

**Carnivore**

Chapter 1 – You're Spike, Not Him 

Solemnly, I watched Willow pack her things, wondering if she'd get upset when I tried to ask her one more time not to go. Things around the castle were so uncertain these days and we had no idea how long the Aegis would keep us safe from Belial. For four days we'd cooped ourselves up in the castle, fixing things, cleaning away the battle scars, healing and learning. Classes had resumed the day before on Willow's insistence and life was trying to settle back to normal. Except, one of our outposts had gone dark. Lima was gone.

Well, the city was still there, but all of our slayers there were gone, the safe house packed up like no one had ever been there. Kennedy said it was the creepiest thing she'd ever seen and that she was bringing all of her girls to Scotland ASAP. I wondered if that was another reason Willow wanted to leave - to avoid seeing her ex.

I'd called all the slayers back to Scotland from everywhere, because this was the only place I'd be sure they were safe. I was also hoping that if we kept them in big groups and in constant contact with each other and with us, that no one else would go missing. With the Lima outpost gone, we were looking at about thirty missing slayers, veteran and brand-new alike.

And then there were the threats made directly against my best friend, according to everyone who hadn't passed out at the end of the battle, like I had. Belial was after Willow specifically, because of what she'd done in LA. Did Willow think she could protect us by leaving? Was that it? Or was it the "I'm close to going evil" excuse again? Sure no one, especially not Buffy, wants a crazy Willow, but she seemed so solid these days. She didn't _need_ to leave right now.

Trying to talk some sense into her, I asked, "Are you _sure _Belial won't be able to get you in this other dimension? I mean, it's not like he's stuck here, right? He just can't get to his home hell dimension."

"Mmm," Willow agreed, zipping up her bag and throwing the strap over one shoulder. "Home fiery home..."

I gave Willow a look - you know the one - glaring until she broke down and said, "Okay! Okay! Yes! Verigard assured me that demons can't enter where I'm going. I don't even think Angel could get in."

"And you'll be back soon?" I insisted, giving her a pouty lip and no-nonsense eyes. "As in, yesterday?"

"I have to control this, Buffy," Willow whined, frowning at my lip, obviously upset that I'd brought it up again. "I'll be back when Verigard thinks I'm ready."

"What do you even know about this guy?" I asked, scoffing and getting rid of the ineffective lip. "He could just be leading you into a trap, Will!"

"All my former guides and teachers trust him, Buffy, and some of them are seriously old. Like, thousands of years old. It's an honor to even be granted an audience. I _have_ to go!"

Slowly I said, "Well, alright. But I don't have to like it."

"You'll be so busy with running things and with those boyfriends of yours, you won't even notice I'm gone."

I smiled at the mention of Angel and Spike, unable to help myself. Things had been good for the past few days, though Angel was still torturing Spike with the fact that the blond had destroyed his car and he was never allowed to drive, ever. That's okay. Spike and I could be passengers together, since I had yet to pass Angel's stupid driving test. At least Suzie, my right hand slayer at the moment, was a good driver. Like, getaway driver good.

"See?" Willow broke into my thoughts and pointed at my smile. "You'll be fine."

"I hope-" I started to say, but was cut off by my phone ringing. "I hope so, Will," I finished, checking the ID and seeing that Xander had texted me. Isn't technology great? "I gotta go. Xand needs me for something, defcon-one he says. Is that uber-urgent or fluffy-bunny urgent?"

Willow shrugged. "You'd better go in either case. Illyria's opening the portal for me in just a few minutes."

I wanted to ask if Willow was sure we could trust _Illyria_, but she'd just get pissed and call me paranoid. So, I pulled Willow into a hug and said, "Be safe."

"You, too," Willow said, hugging me tightly. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Does that apply to boyfriends?" I asked with a chuckle. "Because then you're really limiting me here, Wills."

"Fine," she laughed letting me go. "Other than adult time with boys, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Same goes for you, Missy!" I smiled, letting Willow go and waving once in goodbye before heading for Xander's office. What the hell could be brewing this time?

* * *

Finally getting some time alone together for the first time in almost two days, Angel and I crashed around our bedroom alternating between fighting and kissing. Fangs out and at the ready, I was trying to leverage him into a position where I could bite his neck. I needed the sweet blood calling to me from just under the surface of his skin, but the fucker wouldn't let me have it. At least not without a fight.

"C'mon, Peaches," I yelled, punching him in the face, "quit being such a tosser." This was still about his car, wasn't it?

He laughed, "I just want to see how long it takes before you say it." Stepping forward, Angel kicked me, the blow landing on my lower abdomen and sending me sliding back a few feet.

"Oi!" I winced. "That was mighty close to hitting the package, mate."

"That's what you get for having a hard on during a fist fight, sunshine," he growled, grabbing me by the shoulders and kissing me so hard my fangs started to dig into the inner flesh of my lips.

Shoving him away, I laughed, cackled really. "Like you're not sporting a stiffy under those tragically awful trousers?"

"I plead the fifth," he said, just before I pulled his legs out from under him and tackled Angel before he could roll away. I locked my arms around him, immobilizing his hands at his sides, and tried to ignore the way that bloody artifact he had to keep in his pocket dug into the flesh of my thigh. There were much more interesting bits and bobs digging into more sensitive pieces of flesh to spend too much of my energies worrying about the Aegis.

Growling, I told Angel, "I'm going to bite you and then bugger you so hard, you'll be saying it first."

He laughed, a stubborn, wild glint in his yellow eyes. "Never gonna happen."

I tried to scoot up on him so I could reach his neck, but Angel broke my hold on his arms and flipped me, crawling on top of me and trying to pin down my arms with meaty hands. "Ah hah!" he cried in victory, but his voice got strangled at the end when I thrust my prick against his, wriggling under and grinding into him. "Damn it, Will!" he cried in response. "That's not fair."

"Wasn't goin' for fair, luv," I replied with a smile. "Was goin' for distracting." I shouldn't have said anything, because as soon as I did, Angel pulled up and out of the way of my snapping fangs. The wanker _was_ making me pay for sinking his car. I thought he understood how it wasn't really my fault. Damn it.

"Fine!" I cried. "I'll say it, you poncy sentimental bastard!" I tried once more to get around his defenses, but Angel was ready for me again, chuckling when I failed.

Smiling down at me and making my chest do fluttery things that were really best left to alive people, he asked, "Well?"

"Angel, I..." I was about to finish and give him what he wanted to hear when the big guys upstairs decided something was more important than me getting laid. Again.

"Yeah?"

"Ow." The first pangs of a vision always feel a bit like a sadistic fucker taking a power drill to both temples, shredding and slicing the nerves until they're all on fire and my brain feels like it's ready to explode.

"What? Did I hurt you?" Angel growled seductively, though his expression changed when he inhaled and the scent of my pain made his eyes dilate and his smile fade.

"Ow. Ow. Ow! Bloody vision, luv. Fuck!" Screwing my eyes shut, I tried to ignore the pain so I could try to understand what the Powers were showing me. Something in the back of my head was dimly aware that Angel was holding me in a tight hug, kissing my face and neck to try to ease the pain.

Suddenly, I found myself in the eyes of a predator, a demon by the feel of things, since nothing human could feel so…heartbreakingly _slimy_ and devoid of anything soulful and good. We were hiding in the bushes, delighted that our trap was working so beautifully. One more step and, there! The girl was ours, along with her precious friends, and that witch-bitch nowhere around to stop us. Lovely! Our mouth watered at the thought of all that tasty, powerful slayer flesh and at breaking that wrought-iron will we'd heard so much about.

Suddenly the vision was dark and smelled moldy, mildewed, like a cave or a basement. Or a dungeon, I suppose. Chains rattled and voices screamed. Female voices, all of them. And the one that rose above the rest, the one I recognized painfully well, was Buffy's. She was yelling and screaming, the tears soaking those pretty cheeks of hers, as our grimy hand approached her and wiped them away. Her arms were locked in very heavy chains above her head, and her feet were shackled to the wall, giving her very little range of motion. Just enough for what we wanted from her.

The vision got blurry and started to fade just as I felt us push into her unwilling body, ripping her open and taking our pleasure as the warm smell of her blood rose to our eager nostrils, bathing our cock and our hands as her delicious screams rose to a pitch we wouldn't have expected from such a brave throat.

"Noooo!" I keened, thrown out of the vision, sobbing and fighting against Angel's tight embrace. "Why? You fucking bastards," I cursed whoever had sent me that vision. "There's a god damned reason I could never…" and then my stomach lurched and Angel managed to shift me over so that when I lost my lunch – sheep's blood and chicken fingers – none of it splashed onto him.

"What's wrong, Spike?" he asked, a worried clench to his brow and jaw as he wiped my mouth with a towel I'd left on the floor. "What did you see?"

"So…awful," I cried, shivering as I leaned against him. "Never, never wanted to see that. Got my soul back, I did. Just so I wouldn't be tempted. So I wouldn't…"

"What?" Angel shook me gently and sat me down on the bed, holding me close.

"The girl," I managed to choke out. "He's got a trap set for her. Wants to break her. Wants to take her and … break her and feast on her flesh." I told him. "So many others," I remembered. "There were so many others there, too. And as he … so much power!" I sucked in a breath that was half moan of anguish and half remembered pleasure from that rush of power when we… "Ugh. No!" I cried. "No, no, no. I won't do it. I can't now," I looked up at Angel. "Don't you see? I've the spark. Supposed to make me better for _her_. So I can be _hers_."

"What girl, hon?" he asked, kneading the back of my neck to get me to calm down. "Will, come back to me. Shake it off and tell me what needs to be done."

Still confused as all fuck, I asked him, "I'm real, aren't I? I'm not him? I'm me?"

"You're Will, you're Spike, and you're mine, always," he replied, hugging me closer, so I was practically on his lap. "I love you," he whispered, kissing my neck, bringing me around slowly.

"The girl…"

"Which girl?"

Head clearing now as the vision faded from my memory a little, I gave him a withering look and asked, "What girl do you think? _Our_ girl."

"Buffy's in trouble?" he asked, suddenly freaked out and less concerned about consoling me, his arms around me loosening as he worried about her. "When? Where? How?"

"Trap set," I shivered, remembering the way he watched from the shadows. "Got a dungeon. Lotsa girls there. All slayers, I think. So much power. But he wants the Big Kahuna. He wants Buffy to be the first to die."

"We gotta get you up and moving, Spike," he said as he shoved me off his lap and stood, flailing around, looking for something. Ah, his shoes. He tried stepping into the boots he'd found, but was having a hard time of it. "What the…?"

"Those are _mine_, Ange. Don't go bats on me. We've still got a little bit of time before he takes her."

Finding a pair of big sneakers, Angel slipped into those instead, tossing me my jacket. Sighing, I stood up and put it on, grabbing my phone from the pocket and hitting the speed dial.

There was no sodding answer. Bloody fucking hell!

I hung up and dialed again. "Yeah?" a feminine voice answered, and I was guessing it belonged to a slayer named Stephanie, but I wasn't sure.

"This is Spike, duck," I said. "Sorry to be rude, but I need to know where Buffy is, pronto."

"Uh…okay," she said, and I heard movement on the other side of the line.

"Please tell me she's still in the building," I said, taking Angel's shoulder and stepping into my boots.

"No, I don't think so," Stephanie replied, the sound of fingers tapping keys almost loud over the line. "Ah, says here General Summers is with her squad. They've been deployed to rescue a brand new slayer in Glasgow."

"Send me the address, would you, luv?" I asked her, trying to sound charming and not on the brink of losing my mind in worry again.

"Sure thing, sir," the girl agreed. "Do you require anything else?"

"You've a nice phone voice," I told her, earning a slap on the arm from Angel as we made our way from our room.

"Uh, thanks," she replied uncomfortably.

"Look, just send Xander and some of Willow's witches to the conference room, yeah?"

"Alright," the girl said happily. "There's an order I can do something with."

"Ta, pet." I said in farewell.

When I looked up, I saw Angel wrestling with his phone and getting very frustrated with it. Approaching him, I asked, "Who're you tryin' to call, luv?"

"Buffy," he answered, slapping the phone into my hands so I could figure it out for him.

"You're such a bloody luddite," I muttered as I worked the buttons, handing it back to him once it was ringing and pulling him down the hallway. "And I already tried."

"Shit," he exclaimed after a minute of walking. "She's still not picking up."

"Let me try again." After a few seconds I told him, "Buffy's turned off her phone. Probably so she can snatch the new girl without drawing any attention."

"I wish she wouldn't have gone out without us," he muttered, jaw clenched in worried anger. "We should be with her, not fucking around doing our own thing."

"You know why you have to stay here, Angel," I told him, following him into the conference room, which was still empty. "It's our job now to keep everyone safe until someone figures out what to do about the archdemon. And Buffy's team is really good. Harris must have thought they were the best people for the job. "

"Yeah," he sulked, pacing the room back and forth as people began to filter into the room. "Yeah."

* * *

_Yay, first chapter! This is the fourth episode of my Vampire/Slayer Archives. It follows directly after 'Consequence'. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, so please send me a review with any thoughts, comments, or praise. Oh, I suppose criticism is okay, too..._

_Also, Wooo! This brings me up over 500K words total! Go me!  
_


	2. To Capture a Slayer

_A/N: This is probably my favorite chapter, so I hope you like it!_

* * *

**Carnivore **

Chapter 2 – To Capture a Slayer

When I arrived at the vampires' impromptu meeting, I leaned against the table and asked the blond one, "What've you got, Spike? Why did Steph say you only wanted witches in this meeting?"

"Right. Look, mate," he started out, standing up straighter and pointing at me in emphasis. "Just had a vision 'bout a nasty monster. As far as I could tell, he's a slayer-eater."

Oh, that wasn't good. And why did Spike, former stone cold killer, look so green at the idea of a slayer-eater? This was the guy who downed two whole slayers in his time. Before I could ask what was so bad, Angel whispered, "_Carnivora femina_."

"You've heard of this thing?" I asked him, though I shouldn't have been so surprised. Dead Boy has been around long enough to have seen a lot of the things we looked up in dusty old history books. And yet, he was still so damnably well-preserved.

"I didn't make the connection until just now, when you said they were all slayers," he replied, eyes with Spike's.

"So, what is it?" Spike asked, watching as the last of the witches arrived.

"A demon," Angel answered. "Said to have gone into hibernation a few hundred years ago. Darla said she saw it once, talking with The Master. Made her unsettled."

"And Darla was the coldest bitch you'd ever met," Spike added, shivering. "I thought it better to go after him with the soldiers he won't want to kill and eat. Hence, only witches."

"Uh, yeah," I nodded, thinking we should bring in some of the Watchers and Watcher students. The vamps tended to forget about those of us who weren't very supernatural, forgot that we could help. "Any idea where we start looking for this guy? And whether it's even safe to leave the castle?"

"I'd guess," Spike told me, leaning on Angel as if he were dizzy all of a sudden, "Glasgow. Where Buffy's headed. He's got her. And the bloody bint has turned off her phone."

"Shit," I swore, suddenly scared for my friend. She would be alright, wouldn't she? Looking at my watch, I told the room, "I sent her and her team out a few hours ago, so they could grab that new girl before sunset."

Closing his eyes, Spike said, "It was definitely twilight when the trap was sprung. And he was pleased that someone was out of the way, Willow I think. We should go right away, mate."

Willow _was _gone. Along with Fred. Or Illyria? Whichever one of them was working the portals for Willow so she wouldn't go all psycho-bitch on us again before she got help. "What about our own personal Greek army out there? I _knew_ I shouldn't've sent Buffy out!"

Crashing into the room, Dawn stumbled to get back her balance and her face went pale as she looked around the room. "Oh, God!" she murmured. "Who's dead this time?"

"Look, Nibblet," Spike said, moving cautiously forward. "Just had a vision, yeah? Your sister's … she's walking into a trap."

"What?" Dawn cried, looking to me and not liking what she found there, if frown deepening on her lips was any indication.

"But we're going to fix it, yeah?" the vampire continued quickly. "Ange and I will find her and bring her back, no trouble."

"Angel can't leave," I pointed out, wondering how Spike could have forgotten about how his boyfriend was bound to the artifact keeping us all safe from Belial's powers. He'd been complaining about the Aegis any chance he got, for four days straight and everyone was sick of hearing it, especially me.

"Red's gone," Spike insisted, taking four long strides until he was right in front of my face and I had to take a step back just to be able to focus on him. "And she's who the big guy's after, yeah? Means the ponce can bring the thing with 'im. Keep us safe while we try to get Buffy."

Sighing, because I knew he had a point, I told them, "That's not what Buffy would want. She knows, better than any of us, that this is a numbers game now. She's told me more than once to protect Slayer Central over her. She doesn't want us possibly sacrificing _everyone_ for _her_."

"Oh, you'd bloody well like to think that, wouldn't you?" Spike cried, drawing his fist back like he wanted to take a shot at me. "Just preservin' your own hide, aren't you, Harris?"

Before I could argue, Angel grabbed Spike's arm and pulled him a few feet away from me. "The boy's right, _cor_," he said, and I ruffled a little at being called 'boy'. I was twenty-four years old, for Christ's sake! "I have to stay."

"Before anyone goes anywhere..." I broke in, finally getting a chance to speak. Now that I had their attention, I turned to Bethany, Willow's right-hand girl as far as everything magical went. She had dark skin and dark hair, but some of the bluest eyes you've ever seen. I'd always wanted to ask about them, but it never seemed polite, you know? Catching those eyes, I asked the witch, "Can you guys scry them out? See if they're okay from here? Dawn and I will work on getting a non-magic message through."

"You got it, Xand," the witch nodded, leading her people from the conference room. Dawn frowned at me, probably for speaking for her, but there was a chain of command for a reason. Quibbling about every little thing never got us anywhere good.

"What do I fucking do?" Spike growled at me, fighting against Angel's grip on his arms. "Twiddle m' thumbs until you tell me what I already know?"

"Yes," I spat, nodding for Dawn to come with me to the com bench in the Command Room. If anyone could get a message through the radios, for some reason it was her. She'd picked up something, some sort of technology-whisperer gift, during those two semesters away at a real college, and I couldn't have been happier. Buffy insisted that it was just luck, but I didn't know. The girl was capable of some pretty awesome things, supernatural powers or no. "Let's find your sister, hey, Dawn?"

"Yeah," she nodded grimly. "And when we do, I'm gonna kill her for doing this to us."

* * *

"Summers," Haley whispered from ahead of me, "S.C. keeps calling. Should I take it?"

Grunting in frustration as I shuffled up on my stomach under the bushes, closer to the clearing in the woods where we could see the girl caged up by a group of demons. "We'll call them back in a minute," I breathed at her, watching as the monster on guard duty wandered closer and closer to us. Just a few more steps and we could launch into action. Each slayer had her orders for the smash and grab, but the timing had to be perfect, or we'd be fighting these demons forever.

And … there! Lu grabbed the demon's feet, pulling them toward her with enough force to knock him onto his back and then Georgia plunged a knife into his throat, killing him before she and Lu dragged him under the bushes to hide the body. Everything was going to perfection, no indications that any of the other demons had heard anything. Go us!

Getting to my feet and crouching, I led Misha toward the big metal cage a few paces from our hiding place, letting her stand guard as I approached the girl. She slept on the floor of her cage, all dirty and shivering from the cold. And she looked so young, maybe about fourteen? "Hey, sweetie," I whispered, shaking her shoulder a little bit through the bars. "Wake up. It's time to go."

Bleary eyed, the girl saw me and jerked away. Damn it. Breaking the lock on her door as silently as I could, I joined her in the cage, whispering, "Hey, it's okay. We're here to rescue you."

"No," she croaked, her accent something continental. French or Belgian? "You're another one of zem!"

"I'm no demon," I sighed. "None of us are. We're all girls like you. Please?" I held my hand out to her. "Feel? I'm warm, human. You've been able to tell the difference lately, haven't you?"

Tentatively, the girl reached out, brushing her fingers over the back of my hand. Quirking her dark eyebrows up, she grabbed my hand, hard. Oh, yeah. That was some serious slayer strength. "You came for me?"

"Yeah," I winced, turning my hand to get her to loosen her hold. "Just for you. What's your name?"

"Rosa," she whispered. "Rosa Lyonne."

"C'mon, Rosa," I tugged on her hand until she stood up. "Let's go."

Just before I got her clear of the cage, the ground shifted and fell under us. My stomach jumped up into my throat as I fell, watching in horror as all my girls, even the ones hiding in the bushes, fell with me as the sinkhole widened, swallowing us all up. And then, I hit bottom, rolling with instinct and jumping up to my feet again. Had to get out. Had to fight back. Had to protect the little one, whose hand I'd dropped during the fall, leaving her to hit her head on the bars of her cage as it fell with her and get knocked unconscious.

The rest of my girls jumped up and dusted themselves off, brandishing weapons up toward the rim of our prison. From overhead, there was barely any light, all of it purple-tinged with dusk and fading. Shadows peered over the edge, ugly demons smiling down on us. And there, now that it was dark, vampires. A dozen of them. Where had they been hiding?

Suzie shot her crossbow, dusting one of the vamps right away. Good girl! But then, it rained tiny little red-feathered darts from above us. I dodged them as best I could, but one fell into the arm I held above my head as a shield, pumping its toxin into my body. They were everywhere, hundreds of them, and another one scratched my ear and fell into my shoulder. This was so not good…

I fought the drug as long as I could, pulling Rosa and Misha toward one side of the sinkhole, where fewer darts were falling. As slayers, we were somewhat immune to most everything. But, I didn't know how many of those darts a slight girl like Rosa could take without succumbing to the poison and dying. I ran out of steam half-way through dragging Misha along, collapsing next to her on a bed of unspent darts, frustrated that the rain had stopped only now, when I couldn't seem to keep my eyes open any longer.

Someone would pay for this.

* * *

Spike and I stood in the conference room in silence, waiting for some word of what had happened to Buffy. He'd said there was still time. He'd said she could still be saved. It had to be true, didn't it?

And I couldn't even rush after her, come to her rescue like I was itching to, because I couldn't leave all those people vulnerable. Not when I had the power to protect them. Not even for Buffy. Now, if it had been Spike walking into a trap, not even that could have kept me from his side.

Thankful he was still there with me, worried about Buffy, and sick of his frantic fidgeting and pacing, I caught Spike, pulling him into a sharp, tight hug. He grunted in protest, but returned the embrace after a moment. The worry and frustration radiating off his body echoed in mine and I squeezed my eyes shut as I held Spike, trying to shut out everything but the feel of him in my arms. That had to do for now. It had to.

The silence broke when Xander slammed open the door and growled, "We can't find her. No radio communication. No luck with the magic, either."

"So what, then?" Spike asked him, struggling until I let him go. "Can I go get her now? Or have you got some other bloody argument to stall me?"

"I'm putting together a team, Spike. You'll go with us, see if your visions give us any clues to where she might have been taken. Angel, you can work with Giles on the research side of things?"

"Yeah," I nodded, growling in frustration. I should have been able to go out there with them. Buffy was _mine_, my girl, and I couldn't even go after her. Fuck. "Yeah … research."

"You alright with that?" Xander asked me. "Or do you have a better idea?"

Keeping my lips pressed together so I wouldn't go off on the boy, I nodded tensely, catching Spike watching me. Xander took the nod as truth and turned back to Spike, saying, "We leave in twenty." Then he was gone, shutting the conference room door behind him.

My boyfriend and I looked at each other, a gap of three or four feet between us as he searched my face and I tried to avoid seeing the fear and frustration on his. Eventually he broke the silence. "You're not alright, pet," Spike huffed, looking me dead in the eye with a harsh gaze.

"Yeah, okay!" I agreed, letting myself go off now that we were alone. "I'm not fucking alright! I'm the furthest you could possibly be from alright! She's fucking gone!"

"We don't know that yet!" he fumed, looking about ready to punch me. And here I thought he might be feeling _a little_ sympathetic. "Why the bloody hell would the Powers send me visions about 'er, just to take 'er away from us?"

"Because my life is a fucking joke to them, Spike! Shit, let's rip out Angel's heart again and see what he does about it this time!" I leaned back against the conference table, hoping that would help me calm down. It didn't work.

"We just need a lucky break, is all, Ange." When had this turned around? When had we gone from me consoling him to him trying to talk me down? The switch made me furious, like he had a leg up over me as far as finding Buffy went. And he did. He'd seen where she'd been taken. He could go after her. He could rescue her, and I fucking _couldn't_. And it was too late … and … and … God damn it!

"Don't," I cried, banging my fist against the table behind me and making him flinch just in the slightest. "Don't lie to me, _cor_. We had our chance with her, and I fucked it up! This miracle happened and she was willing to take us both back, and I quibbled at the price. I knew she was mortal, I knew it, but I let myself fall in love with her anyway. If I would have just ... it could have been a wonderful few months, couldn't've it?"

Spike nodded, still wary of what I might do next but approaching me carefully. Shit, I didn't even know what I'd do next. "We could have been happy together and seen this thing through to the end," I sighed at him, "and then it would be just us again, like it's supposed to be. Damn it!" I grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, shaking Spike as I yelled, "And now she's fucking gone too soon and it's just you and me and why the fuck isn't that enough!"

Spike punched me across the face to get me to let go and yelled, "I don't know, Angel! I don't know why I'm never enough for you! I don't fucking know why you gave up your humanity, when all you've ever wanted was to be with her. I don't know why I _need_ you so bloody much!"

"For you," I said softly keeping my eyes away from his and touching my face where he'd hit me. We always fell back on pain.

"_What's_ for me?" Spike asked, his voice losing some of its volume as he spoke.

"Signing ..." I sighed, looking up at him when he gingerly touched my shoulder. "Signing away my humanity. Saving the world was only part of the reason."

"What was the other part?" Spike asked harshly, his eyes shimmering and his voice thick. "What was it?"

"I did it for you!" I cried. "I did it because you're my fucking soul mate, alright? I did it because I couldn't lose you like that. I couldn't be the one to fuck things up, Will!" I laughed as a few tears fell from Spike's eyes, "And here I am, fucking it up anyway."

He didn't say a word for a long moment, just letting a few more tears fall before some ambiguous emotion flashed across his face and he tackled me onto the conference-room table, slamming my shoulders against the surface. "I never asked for this," he growled, pushing me back down as I struggled to sit up despite him. "It's too much responsibility, Angel! Fuck you, you thoughtless bastard! She's supposed to..." he swallowed back more tears. "_She's_ supposed to be your bloody soul mate! I'm the consolation prize! That's all I've ever been!"

"You're not!" I tried to say, but Spike wouldn't let me, holding me down, punching at me like he was so upset he didn't know what else to do.

"I'm not supposed to be the one you make these big changes for! I'm not supposed to be _anything_, compared to her! I don't know _how_ to be anything!"

"You're everything, Spike!" I told him, marveling at how he could not know how I felt about him. Where had all of this come from? "I'm sorry I -"

"Don't you fucking apologize to me, Peaches. I'm supposed to be the one you love because you _have_ to, because we're sodding connected now and you can't help it, not because you want to! You have to love me, Angel! You have to!"

"Hey!" I thundered, grabbing Spike's face and trying to break him out of wherever his head was at the moment. "I love you because I want to, William. I fucking _love_ loving you. I love you more than I ever loved her!"

"You're just saying that because you think she's gone and there's no reason to admit loving her as much as you do," he shot back, punching my ribs cruelly. "But what happens when I bring her back? Because I am going to bring back, luv! I'll bring her back, just for you," Spike swallowed and stopped hitting me.

Giving him the most truthful answer I could come up with, I whispered, "I don't know. If you're this unsure…"

"Don't!" Spike growled, low and deadly. "Don't you dare back out of this to spare me, Angel! I don't want to be spared!" Then, his voice finally going softer, Spike crooned, "Let me do this for you, pet. Let me give this to you. Please, luv! All I want to do is make you _happy_ for once in your miserable fucking life!"

Speaking without thinking, I asked, "Why?"

"What the bloody fuck do you mean, 'Why'?"

Sighing and trying to put my thoughts together, I asked, "Do you get something out of this? Forcing your idea of 'happy' on me?"

"I'm not forcin' anything," he scoffed. "Not when I can see and smell and soddin' _feel_ what you desperately want, you insufferable prat! I just ... I can't stand owing you this debt, Angel. You've given me everything! I went and got my soul 'cause of you! You made my sire, gave me your heart, your trust, your arse, your fucking _humanity_! I can't live like this, knowing all this shite I owe you and not doin' somethin' to pay you back."

"Love shouldn't be about debts and favors and payback," I told him.

"Shouldn't be," he agreed. "But it bloody well is!" Spike punctuated his point with another shot to my ribcage, making pain radiate from my shoulder to my hip, not quite reaching the ache in my heart. "And I know, Angel..."

Growing impatient after a few seconds of silence, I grabbed Spike's neck to make him look at me. "Know what?"

"Know that if I kept you from her, you'd resent me for it," he said, eyes skirting away from mine, embarrassed by the confession.

"I wouldn't," I tried to tell him, but Spike just scoffed again.

"You _would_, pet," he insisted, shaking his head. "And you'd resent me _forever_. Not just the thirty or forty or fifty years most people get together. Forever, Angel!" Calming down with a big sigh, Spike whispered, "Would rather sacrifice this little bit of you now than to poison what we have outta jealousy and spite."

And then, after we stared at each other for a few seconds, Spike kissed me. Hard and demanding, his lips crashed into mine, cutting the insides of my mouth on my teeth. "Just," he whispered, kissing me again, his tongue finding that little bit of blood released into my mouth and lapping it up, "let me do this for you? Let me love you the way I know how. Let me get you what you want. Please? It would make me so happy, luv."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I kissed him back, which Spike seemed to take as an invitation. His tongue dug further into my mouth and he moaned into me, making me take a sharp, aroused breath through my nose. It didn't matter that he should have been out there looking for Buffy. All that mattered in the moment was how desperately Spike needed me, needed my reassurance that even if she was gone, he still had me. Which he did, always. This fact was etched on every bone and woven into every sinew in my body. I was William's and he was mine.

Hands grabbed everywhere and belts were undone. My pants and boxers hit the floor and all of a sudden, blood rushed out of my brain as Spike stroked me. Oh, god, his hands were clever, making me forget about everything else, like he always did. Then, his voice soft and higher than I was expecting, eyes tracking mine determinedly, Spike asked, "Angel?"

"Huh?" I grunted, too far gone for words.

"Listen to me, luv," he insisted, loosening his hand on my cock, but still trailing his fingers over me lightly. "I'm content with the fact that you have to love me Angel, but right now I need to make love to you, to ease this bloody naggin' in my head. Please? Please let me in, pet? I soddin' can't wait anymore. I can't bloody concentrate on finding her, on bringing her back for you without this."

"You'll make it quick?" I asked him, gasping when Spike squeezed my prick and nodded.

"As much as I would love to take my time with you, I know you want me to go after her in your place." Guiding me by the hips so I would turn over, hands and chest on the table and feet on the floor, Spike continued, "Think on this, pet..." He popped open a cap (Am I the only one who finds it weird that Spike keeps a bottle of lube in his jacket pocket?) and let cool liquid trail down the crease in my ass, his fingers stroking and exploring after it.

"Ugh?" I asked wordlessly in a grunt, because my mouth still wasn't working very well.

"You could have her underneath you whenever you want." Spike chuckled as he slipped two fingers into me, saying, "Even when I'm doing this for you. Can you picture it, Angel?"

"Yeah," I nodded, my forehead sweaty against the table as I let his voice suggest to me that Buffy was there with us, soft and warm under me.

Adding another finger to really stretch me out, the burn just shy of pain, Spike leaned against me, his free hand trailing up my back, under my shirt, and whispered, "Can you smell her, luv? How much she wants you?"

I nodded in agreement, letting Spike's words wrap around me, along with the scent of his desire. I wanted to kiss him, to reach back for him somehow, but I couldn't move with him touching me, and especially not when his free hand, now wet with more lube, found my dick and tugged.

My hips bucked into Spike's hand and he nipped at my neck lightly, saying, "Oh, she liked that, Angel. Do it again."

Eyes closed, I knew it was just a fantasy Spike was teasing me with, but somehow it seemed right. "I'll find her," he promised me, replacing his fingers with his cock and rocking into me slowly. "I'll find her, pet, and I'll give her to you." Angling downward more, Spike found the right spot, brushing over it and making me cry out, making my hips twitch down into Buffy again.

"That's how much I soddin' love you, Liam," he whispered in my ear, and suddenly, memories clouded the moment and I tensed, thrown out of the fantasy and breathing hard with remembered pain, fighting the urge to twist away from my boyfriend and kill him, mistaking him for a monster long since gone.

"Fuck," Spike cursed softly, letting go of my prick and easing both hands up and down my sides to calm me. "I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't think."

Knowing I needed to change this before I really started flashing back, I choked out, "Give me your wrist."

"Aye," he agreed, leaning over me and carefully keeping absolutely still in me as he set the underside of his wrist against my lips. Without hesitation, I slipped my fangs out and into his flesh, sighing in relief as the almost-warm haze of Spike's blood flooded my body with every sucking pull. It banished the memories and brought me into the moment, panting with renewed excitement.

Shuddering, Spike kissed my back through my shirt and started moving again, slowly. Whispering as his hand found and stroked me, he said, "I'd give you everything I had and more, Ange. If you wanted just her, I'd give her to you."

"No," I insisted through the haze of blood, the feel of him deep inside me, the pull of his hand, and the comforting weight of him on my back. "It's not right without you, precious. Ah! I'm yours."

"Bloody right, you are," he chuckled, his voice unsteady. "'sides - _oh_ _fuck, luv - _we can't have you losin' your marbles again, now can we?"

"Nnggh," I agreed, chasing what Spike offered me, tilting my head when his teeth found my neck. As his fangs slipped through my skin, piercing me right to the core, I cried out in ecstasy, shuddering in his hand.

Spike followed me, hips insistent against mine as he came, holding me as close as he could with a little cry of, "Oh, Ange!"

As I relaxed, suddenly it seemed awful that we were here, breathing harshly, locked together, without her. Without Buffy. "Shit," I whispered, pulling away and turning over under Spike, letting my head fall back with a loud clunk against the table. "We _have_ to find her!"

He sighed and nodded, letting me wrap him in my arms. "When we find her," I whispered in Spike's ear, keeping my grip around his shoulders tight, "I'll do whatever you want, precious. Whatever makes you happy, I'll do it. And if that means bringing Buffy in, that's what we'll do."

"Thank you," he murmured, hands clutching at my ribs, holding me close. "She's mortal, luv. It won't be forever. We're forever."

"Always," I agreed, burying my nose in his neck and wishing I could just live there until our slayer miraculously came back. "Though, it's gonna be damn short with Buffy if we can't find her in time."

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_Please review!_


	3. Constraints

_A/N: This chapter would not be nearly as awesome without the helpful criticism from and discussions with my beta reader, Hortense! _

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* * *

_**Carnivore **

Chapter 3 - Constraints

The first thing I became aware of was pain. My arms, from wrist to shoulder, were in pain. I pulled, trying to rearrange them, but it was no use, they wouldn't budge. The heavy rattling of metal above my head made me realize I was upright, and shackled to a cold stone wall, hanging from my wrists. Again.

Sometimes I thought the other slayers never made it as long as I had because they got too bored of being in the same perilous situation over and over again. Well, and they didn't have a best friend who could raise the dead. That probably had more to do with it.

Opening my eyes, I tried to look around, but everything was dark. Very dark. I thought I could see light coming from somewhere, but everything was so black, it was difficult to tell one shade from another. The air was heavy and wet, stinking like mildew and old sweat socks, and just shy of frigid. At least it felt like I still had my clothes. The same clothes, if the feel and smell of my jacket sleeve against my face was any indication. I tried moving my feet, but they were chained to the wall too, and I sighed. This did not look good for our friendly neighborhood Buffy.

Suddenly, there was a sound, a little sob off to my left and the gentle rattling of more chains.

"Hey," I called out, quietly. "Who's there? Who's that crying?"

"Don't!" a voice said, in just a whisper. After a moment of harsh silence, she continued, "I'm sorry. He doesn't like us to talk." It was a girl's voice, I would guess an older teenager, and she sounded so scared.

"Who?" I asked, my voice growing more desperate. "Who doesn't like chatter? Where is this place?"

"Hell," another girl, about twenty feet in front of me, said carefully. "This has to be hell."

"Hmm," I shrugged, my chains rattling again. "Better than the last hell dimension I went to."

Startling me from again on my left, another female voice screamed, chains rattling wildly.

"Calm down!" I called into the darkness. "Whoever you are, calm down so you don't hurt yourself."

"Summers?" the screamer asked, her voice thick with fear.

"Wilson?" I took a guess. "Is that you making such a racket?"

"Sorry, General," she cried. "Sorry, but I'm really afraid of the dark."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, you're a slayer, Haley! You can't be afraid of the dark!"

"Everyone's afraid," the first voice broke in, melancholy apparent even though we couldn't see her. "The light never comes back. Just food. Just water. And just him."

"Him who? Whom? Who?"

"Who," someone off to my right said softly. "We don't know his name."

"Are there any guys being held captive here, or is it just us ladies?" The room was silent for a breath or two, waiting for someone to speak up in the dark.

"I've only ever heard girls," another voice whispered.

Nodding to myself, I figured my first move would be to figure out who from my team was there. So, I said clearly and calmly to keep them sane, "My squad. Roll call."

"Wilson," Haley called and I smiled at how much stronger she sounded, now that she knew she wasn't alone in the dark.

"Shipwright-Brown!" Suzie called from a far edge of the room and I sighed in relief.

"Cheloff." That was Misha. Good.

"Pang." Lu was here.

After a long few moments of silence, I called, "Where's Spellman? Georgia? Are you here? And Velazquez? Isa? Isabel?"

A wet cough echoed through the room (rooms?) from far to the right and someone croaked, "Yeah."

"Yeah, who?" I asked, since as gritty as it was, I couldn't make out the voice.

"Velazquez," Isa replied, more sure of herself this time.

"So we're only missing Georgia, then? Lu, did you see her when we fell? Was she okay?"

"I don't know, General," the Chinese girl replied in her heavy accent. "I only saw dirt and tranks and then I was out."

I sighed, "Okay, thanks." Even a year and a half after Willow's spell, I still wasn't used to having a team. It wasn't second nature to look after them; it was a conscious effort on my part every time. I was used to getting out of these sorts of situations on my own, under my own power. And now, I had more hands to help me, but I had more bodies to worry about losing, too. Bodies with sweet smiles and shy eyes like Georgia's.

"I'm sorry," the first voice cut into my thoughts, "but he really doesn't like it when we talk. So…"

"So what?" I asked, getting more pissed off by the second. This guy baited us into a trap, which I really should have noticed for what it was, and tied us up all creepy-like in his basement and we couldn't even keep each other company? "Hey!" I called out into the room. "Hey, you! Guy who's got us tied up in here! You really don't know who you're dealing with! Now come untie me and everyone else, and we can pretend this never happened. Okay?" I lied harshly.

On one end of the room, a door creaked open, the light from a single candle bobbing through the opening. "Is that you, Buffy Summers?" a harsh, raspy male voice filled the room, echoing off the stone walls and floor. "Are you the one making all the fuss?"

"Yeah," I agreed, shouting at him with a bravado I didn't quite feel, being chained so tightly to the wall. "I'm Buffy Summers. Who the hell are you?"

"Oh, we'll become quite well acquainted," he sneered. "In time. But for now, just remember that I'm the one who dictates what goes on down here, not you."

"That's what you think," I chuckled, straining my eyes to try to see him by the candlelight, but it was no good. He was nothing more than a big lumbering blob of not-quite-so-pitch black standing by the door.

His soft reply floated out from the darkness. "You'll change your mind, Slayer. And when I've broken you, the rest will fall so…" he chuckled over the rusty creak of the door, "…easily."

Okay. That wasn't creepy at all. Then why did a little voice in my head go "eep!"?

* * *

"I don't like this, Xan," Faith frowned as she blocked my exit from the Command Room. "Now, I know B and I've never been on real good terms, but I don't like this. _I_ should be leading this rescue party, not the Wicked Witch."

"What part of … Slay…er … Eat…er … don't you understand, Faith?" I asked her, trying to brush past, but stopping when I ran into one of her strong arms across my chest. "And Bethany is about as far from wicked as they get."

"That's what concerns me," the slayer replied, her brown eyes tilting at me furiously. "How are you planning on getting to this guy? He took a whole squadron part and parcel. You need force, not light shows and noodle arms."

I laughed a little in the back of my throat at Faith's imagery, but shook my head anyway. "Spike says this demon can steal slayer power somehow – he's a little sketchy on the details – but we don't want more slayers falling into his web if we can help it. We'll take it slow, play it safe, and live to tell the tale. I promise."

Faith scoffed, but nodded. "And leave me here to play nursemaid to the rest of 'em…"

"Hey," I smirked, "you've gotten good at it this year, Faith. Tracking down all the newbies, leading 'em in by their itty, bitty hands. So cute!" Faith pulled a face and I laughed at her, noticing yet again how my eye patch didn't fit very well when I was smiling. It seemed doubly-insulting. Not only did you lose the eye, Xand, but you can't even smile without being reminded of it. So not fair.

Lowering her arm so I could get past, the slayer let me take a few steps before she called after me, "Be careful, Harris!"

"Hey!" I called back, walking backwards for a few steps so I could see her leaning there in the doorway. Since working together again, Faith and I had developed a sort of truce. We never spoke about the past, we stayed out of each others' way as much as possible, and when we had to interact, it was always in mocking banter, "This is _me_ we're talking about!"

"I know!" she called after me with an annoyed chuckle.

Leaving Faith in charge, I rearranged my pack on my shoulder as I walked through the front hall, where we were gathering up to leave. Almost everyone was already there – witches, a few warlocks, some of the more advanced Watchers, battle-wise, and the vampires. And for the love of… they were stuck to each other, again! Spike had his arms wrapped around Angel's middle like he never wanted to let go and Angel was holding onto Spike's shoulders just as fiercely.

"I swear," I called as I approached, "I'm not waiting for someone to find a crowbar to pry you two apart. We're leaving."

Both vampires glared at me and I smiled. Served them right, except for the fact that Buffy was missing. Okay, maybe I should have cut them a little more slack. It's just I hated having them around all the time, flaunting what the rest of us didn't have – someone who would let you hold them that close. Someone to love. It was especially difficult on those of us who used to have that at one point, and lost it. At least, I hoped it wasn't just me upset by them.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Blackbeard," Spike snarled. "I'm just as bloody anxious as you to get going so we can find her."

"By all means," I nodded, gesturing towards the side door that led towards the covered walkway to the garage that Angel had gotten installed. It wouldn't do to have our best physical fighter burn up in the afternoon sun, now would it? As they passed me, I counted off heads, making sure I knew exactly who we had and why.

As we filed out, I overheard Spike and Angel exchange a few last words, Angel asking softly, "You meant all of it?"

"S'why I said it," Spike nodded almost indignantly. "I'll find her for you, pet."

"Be _careful_, Will," Angel said, giving Spike a harsh look before the blond nodded and kissed him quickly.

"Aye."

And then we were off, piling into two quick and heavy SUVs, meant for missions like this, where we might come under attack at any moment. They weren't exactly armored, but they held more people and more equipment than similarly powerful cruisers. At least that was one good thing about Angel joining the operation – the vamp knew how to custom order his cars.

Despite my disability, I'd been able to pass Angel's driving test with flying colors, so I took the wheel of one truck, while a Watcher named Fiona took the other. Spike sat shotgun next to me, supposedly so he could direct us according to what he'd seen in his vision, but I think it was mostly so he and I could reassure each other.

"She's only been out of contact for an hour," I reminded him a few minutes down the road.

"Aye," Spike agreed. "And I've seen where he's got her. Tosser doesn't stand a chance."

"Not a chance," I echoed, willing myself to believe it.

* * *

As I watched Spike leave, it took a considerable portion of my will to keep my feet rooted to the stone of the entryway and not running after him. It went against every instinct, to let someone who was _mine_ go into such a dangerous situation without me. I had no idea what he was up against. I had no idea whether or not he would come back. And God, if he didn't? His death would make it so easy to meet the sun, wouldn't it? Despite everyone here needing me to keep them safe, despite the mission, despite Buffy, I would probably do it. And hoped he could forgive me for letting it happen.

After what he'd said, it seemed like he'd forgive me _anything_. Fingering the bite mark he'd left on my neck, I winced as his words kept popping into my head, unbidden, saying, "…don't know _how_ to be anything," and, "…have to love me, Angel!" "…resent me for it." "…the way I know how." And, "…love you, Liam."

My heart clenched and my eyes filled with tears as I stood there, watching him go. All those words, and I'd barely been able to respond. I still didn't know how to respond. He loved me so fucking much and I didn't even know if I was _capable_ of returning his affection with such … _intensity_. Here he was, thinking he wasn't good enough to be my soul mate. In reality, I wasn't good enough for him.

When I could feel that Spike was gone, too far away for me to pick up the waves of anxiety and fear rolling off him, I sighed and made myself turn back towards the bulk of the castle. I could still help. I could still be of some use and I wasn't as toothless as I felt, being stuck here without him.

* * *

When we got to the last coordinates Buffy's girl sent Xander, everyone could tell that something wasn't right. Two of the company trucks sat by the side of the road, doors open and interiors empty. No one would leave a car like that unless something was wrong. Fuck, something was wrong!

I would have thought about how Angel would kill me if I didn't bring her back, but I was actively ignoring any thoughts that had to do with him. Otherwise, I might have started panicking about what I'd said, and when he would realize what an utter sop I actually was, going on and on about making him happy and whatnot. And the worst part of the whole debacle was that every word was completely and utterly true.

Angel hadn't said much back, besides asking me if I'd meant what I'd said. Well _of course_, I bloody meant it. That was the problem, wasn't it? Now that he knew how weak and pathetic I was, he wouldn't want me anymore. Not when he let himself think about it while I was gone.

Bloody fucking hell, wasn't I trying to ignore these thoughts? Until Buffy was safe, at least. When she was safe, then I could afford to panic about Angel.

Grateful it was an hour past dusk, I jumped out of the car before Xander threw it into park and inhaled. The air was rife with the smell of fear and anger; and Buffy's scent, which I knew so well, hung faintly in the air. Turning my head from side to side, I placed the direction of the smell, heading deeper into the woods beside the road. Growling as I let my demon out, so I could better track Buffy, I told Xander, "This way."

When I turned back to make sure they were following, the boy started, the light from his electric torch jumping away and then back to my face, before he muttered grumpily, "For the love of…"

"What?" I picked my way through the edge of the dark forest, noting which branches Buffy had brushed against, where she had stopped for a moment, how her heeled boots had made impressions in the dirt. And then, when she had dropped to her hands and knees and scooted under the brush, so did I.

"Warn a guy before flashing those things, would you?" Xander replied. "And why are we crawling through the woods?"

"Because Buffy did," I replied softly, trying to ignore him and focus on what had happened to our girl. "Came up through here. Ugh," I shook my hand out after having put it in a pile of former vampire. "Vamps," I sniffed again, "plenty of demons." Looking back, I noticed it was only Xander behind me and said, "Others don't want to get their hands dirty?"

"Nah," Xand shook his head. "They'd just get in the way. I'll call them up when we know what we're dealing with."

"I told you," I sighed, "it's that slayer eater. And his minions, I reckon." The woods were starting to look familiar, so I stood up to get a better look, brushing my way past trees, past that boulder. Bloody hell! "He stood here, mate," I told the human, my stomach clenching at the memory. "And watched Buffy go past there," I turned and pointed through the bushes to what looked like a clearing. "The trap!"

I ran toward the clearing, despite Xander's cry of, "No, Spike! Wait!" and lurched downward when my foot stepped onto nothing. The only thing that stopped me from a painful, but far from lethal, fall into the giant sinkhole was Xander grabbing my hand and hauling backward. Shifting my weight to my other foot and trying not to pull the boy in with me, I regained my balance slowly, peering precariously over the edge. The ground on the bottom of the hole was littered with tufts of red feathers and a human-sized steel cage sat on its side in the middle of the hole, its door hanging open. Who or what had Carnivora kept in there? My instinct said _bait_.

"Look," I told Xander, pulling my hand from his grasp and wiping it off on my jacket before pointing over the edge. "No slayers, but a proper fuck-ton of tranquilizer darts. And looks like the whole thing collapsed all of a sudden. This was the trap," I realized, shivering at how gleeful Carnivora had felt. Gleeful and _hungry_.

Picking up his torch from where he'd dropped it, Xander scooted to the edge of the hole and carefully gazed over. He nodded slightly before his light settled on a bundle near the far side of the sinkhole. "Is that…?" he asked me.

Cocking my ear as we hurried around the hole, listening for even the faintest heartbeat, I concluded, "Yeah. That's a body."

"Who is it?" he cried soberly, throwing himself down next to me when I dropped with my head and arms over the edge, trying to get a better look.

"Even with the light, I can't tell," I said, turning to climb feet first into the sinkhole. "I'll find out."

The whole fifteen-foot climb, all I could think was, "Please don't let it be her. Please don't let it be her. Please!"

My heart up in my chest and my eyes forced open, because I didn't want to look and yet had to know, I turned the body over. Right away, I could tell it wasn't Buffy. This girl was too tall, too broad to be her. The hair was darker, he fingers longer, and the face rounder. It wasn't her!

"It's not her!" I called up to Xander. "But it is a slayer!"

"Can you tell who it is?" he asked, his voice thick and harsh.

Taking another look, I decided that she looked familiar, but I couldn't remember her name. I picked her up and pulled her away from the edge, where Xander could see her, and her head lolled back unnaturally. Now, I've handled a lot of dead bodies in my time and I know that the only ones that do that are the ones who've had their necks broken. It probably happened when the ground collapsed under her and she fell. Best way to kill a slayer, actually. Break the neck, and there's no coming back from that. Must have been why he left her behind. No one likes a cold meal.

Xander shone his light down on me and flicked it to the body's face as I juggled her to cradle the head in my arms. "It's Georgia!" he gasped when he could finally see her. "Damn it all to hell, they got Georgia!"

Carefully slinging her over my shoulder, I climbed up the dirt wall again, clinging to sharp rocks and tree roots to pull both of us back up onto solid ground. When he could reach, Xander grabbed under the girl's arms and pulled her up, with me pushing and then scrambling up after the body. Carefully I asked Xander, "Friend of yours?"

"She was a good friend of Renee's," he told me, arranging her on her back as best he could. "And she knew how to bake. I liked her."

Crouching down beside the boy, I patted his back carefully and said, "'m sorry, mate."

"Yeah, thanks," he frowned, pulling a radio from his pocket and calling in the cavalry.

* * *

After the demon left, the dungeon grew silent for a few minutes, no one wanting to talk and perhaps make him return. Well screw that! I'd taken down things way scarier than him. So I cleared my throat and said loudly, "Alright, girls! First we have to figure out how many of us there are and if we're all slayers."

"Shh!" that first voice cried again, and I could almost hear tears muffling her voice. "He'll come back!"

"I don't effing care!" I told her, seriously pissed off now. "Whatever that bastard wants to do to me, I don't care. I'm _going_ to stand up to him! First, by taking a head count."

"But that's the problem," she hissed, sounding like she was choking back sobs. "He never takes it out on the troublemakers. He'll take someone quiet and make an example out of _her_!"

I shifted in my chains a little, thinking before I asked in a softer voice, "You know this from experience?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Yeah. I always had a big mouth, and here was no exception. Until he came and took away Kara, the girl next to me. We heard her screaming for _hours_. So," she sniffed, as if bucking up her resolve, "_shut it_, okay?"

"Okay," I replied reflexively. I could bide my time, I could think about this for a little while before opening my mouth again. As I hung there, listening to the echo-y silence of the rest of the room, the girls sighing, the chains rattling, it slowly dawned on me that this could be all my fault. If my suspicion was right, and everyone here was a slayer, this was all my fault. I hadn't wanted to battle The First alone, I hadn't wanted to sacrifice any more of my humanity to win the war. And I'd condemned all these girls to _this_. Whatever this was turning out to be.

God help us.

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_I hope you liked it! Please don't forget to review..._


	4. Search

_A/N: I realize that I just posted yesterday, but I wanted to get this one out to you. This series is my first love and lately my muse has been cooperating (with some helpful kicks from my beta, Hortense) and I can't bring myself to hold onto a chapter once it's done. Let's hope this productivity keeps up for awhile, huh?_

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**Carnivore**

Chapter 4 - Search

Tipping the tears back into my eyes and blinking them away as I left the front entryway of the castle, I made my feet carry me to the library, which was once again Giles' domain. Despite all the familiar smells of yellowing paper, old ink, and cracking glue, I hated it in there. More often than not it was crawling with the youngest of the young slayers. Weak slayers. Just like Buffy in the beginning, I loved and hated all of them for being strong, but not yet strong enough. As much as I fought it, they smelled like prey, like food - more so than the humans because even the small slayers were a challenge compared to your average person. I wasn't overly worried about what I might do to them, not after everything the Powers put me through, not after falling in love with Spike, but I did worry about what other monsters would do to them for daring to think they could fight back. Monsters like the one who'd taken Buffy.

And there, sitting behind his tall desk, squinting through his glasses as he read a dusty tome, was the other reason I hated the library. Giles. We'd been pointedly ignoring each other for years, when we could, and moving to Scotland didn't do much to change that. Except when he got wind of the fact that Buffy was dating both me and Spike. That made all his paternal hackles rise, and so all of the dealings I'd had with him since were rife with tension. I supposed I could understand some of it, given everything that had happened in the past, but I was hoping things would get better as time went on. As I saw him that evening, I morosely hoped that there would still be a reason to patch things up with Giles once this whole thing was over. That there would still be a Buffy.

Because I would miss her, yes, but I couldn't stand the thought of how Spike might take her death. He'd been so insistent we should be with her, so sure of it. Sometimes I wondered if he knew something I didn't, some reason why being with Buffy would fix everything. I didn't know it needed fixing until that afternoon, when Spike let out everything he must have been holding onto for months, if not _decades_. He'd said he wanted to pay me back for everything I'd given him, but that implied he owed me something, which I really couldn't comprehend. _He_ owed _me_? He'd given me a way out from under the Senior Partners; he'd given me a reason to keep fighting. He'd given me hope and love, when it all seemed to be crumbling apart. No, I owed him. Or maybe we were even. But would I really be able to convince him otherwise? Did I even want to?

Like I thought he might, Giles glared when he saw me, but didn't say anything because lucky for me, Dawn was there to chaperone. She waved me over to the main row of tables leading back from the doorway, saying, "Welcome, Dead Boy."

"Oh, great," I sighed, taking a seat across from her and her slayer, Rita, who was also my part-time assistant, "just when I thought Xander had outgrown calling me that…"

"Pssht," Dawn scolded, passing me a book. "Not important right now. You wanna look through Mellman's Compendium? Unless you've got a better idea where we should be searching?"

I wracked my brain, trying to come up with something, some fragment or memory that would help us figure out what Carnivora was, what he could do, and where he might be, but all I could think about was how empty and silent the chair beside me felt. So, I shook my head and took the volume Dawn gave me, skimming though it quickly.

No, this wasn't right. These were all lesser demons and half-breeds. Carnivora was one of a kind, probably if not one of the original Fallen, one of their get. From what Darla had told me, he was no mere foot soldier, but a general, and he made some sort of deal with the Master. She'd said what the agreement was, I hadn't been listening and now I couldn't remember. It probably had something to do with getting rid of a slayer who was causing the Master too much trouble.

This thing _fed_ on slayers. I knew that much. But he had only ever had one slayer to go after at a time, and she could pop up anywhere around the world, so it could have been years or decades for him between kills. What kind of power could he accumulate given the seven slayers he'd taken today? What about the thirty that had gone missing in the past six months? And any number of others Buffy's people hadn't known about before he took them?

Now there were hundreds, maybe a thousand slayers all at once, would Carnivora just keep gobbling them up until there were none left? Or just one, like there used to be? Would he make some sort of catch and release game out of their lives? Could any of the slayers walk through the night without fear again?

As selfish as it was, I wanted Buffy to be the one left alive at the end, if this truly was a purge. The Slayer. Our slayer. She had to come back. Spike promised he would return her, but how much could I count on a promise like that? I was sure he would try with everything he had to rescue her, and he was _good_, better than me, more apt to survive. But that only meant so much if she was already gone.

What could I find here to help him? Some piece of information, some spell that could tell Spike how to find her, how to bring her back, had to be in this library somewhere. Without that, I feared Spike would go too far trying to save her and lose himself in the process. Something about the conversation we'd had made me think that Spike was trying to lose himself in me, in what I wanted, rather than what was good for him, too. God, how could one person love me – _me_ – that much? It didn't seem possible or even _wise_.

Then again, if Spike had ever been wise about matters of the heart, he would have given up on Dru's insanity within a month, or maybe a year. Instead, he stuck by her for over a century, taking care of her, keeping her safe in my absence. He was stupid about her then, what I'd gathered from Buffy said that he'd been stupid about her too, and now he was being stupid about me. But when the man you're in love with tells you exactly what would make him happy, even if it's stupid and self-sacrificial, how do you refuse to meet him halfway?

And now it had been ten hours, with only sporadic word from either Spike or Xander, and nothing to be found in either Mellman's Compendium or any of the other six dozen books I pawed through. For a guy with a giant's reputation in the underworld, Carnivora was relatively unknown to the humans. I knew demons that might have information, but I couldn't just call them up, ask them some questions and get any sort of reliable information on the beast we were looking for. No, I would have had to beat the information out of them, which sounded entirely too satisfying at the moment. And I couldn't fucking leave the castle grounds.

The limitation was getting old, real quick.

And then Dawn muttered, "Oh, no," and my heart dropped into my shoes at how hopeless she sounded. "I think we should send more people," she added, looking up as Giles came over to the table and took the book from her hands. He frowned and nodded before retreating back into his office. It seemed the hopelessness was catching.

* * *

It took the rest of the night for Spike to track Buffy's scent through the woods, the rest of us following him dutifully. We moved through the trees and the underbrush as quietly as eleven people could in the middle of the night. Georgia's body sat in Buffy's car, under a preservation spell in lieu of embalming her in the field. I had to say, as much as magic wigged me out sometimes, it definitely came in handy for occasions like this.

Around four in the morning, I whispered to Spike, "It'll be dawn in an hour and a half. We should find you some shelter before too long."

Taking a long, deep breath through his nostrils, like he'd been doing all night, Spike shook his head and pointed forward into the darkness. "Comin' up on a cave. Can smell it, mate. Dawn won't be an issue."

"Oh, I think you're mistaken," I chuckled, holding out my phone as it buzzed for the thirtieth time that night. "You wanna talk to her this time, or should I?"

Spike pursed his lips in my direction, his eyes flashing eerily in the light from my flashlight, before he whispered, "Nah. Already told her everything I could, yeah? Probably just checking in again to make sure we aren't dead."

"Well, we aren't any deader than we were before we left," I smirked, chuckling when the vampire just raised one eyebrow, shook his head, and turned back to leading us toward Buffy. And according to his nose, the rest of the missing slayers were with her too. So, I flipped open my phone and said, "Still here, Dawnie. I'll call you if something different happens, okay?"

"Oh," a very male voice stuttered. "N-no, Xander, it's Giles."

"Dawn get you to take over the pestering for her?" I asked, trying to follow Spike through the forest without falling on my face while juggling a phone, a flashlight, and a reduced field of vision.

"No," the Watcher said. "I've got some information for you regarding this Carnivora fellow."

"Really?" I asked, covering the mouthpiece and hissing, "Hey, Spike. Hold up a minute."

Sighing, the blonde stopped and turned, sighing, "What now?"

"What sort of information are we talking about here, Giles?" I said into the phone, knowing Spike and Bethany, who was trudging up behind me, would hear.

"It seems that he does indeed get his power from the gruesome destruction of slayers, which is worrying in and of itself..."

"But...?" I prompted him, knowing that whatever he was trying to say had to be bad. Though sometimes, Giles had more trouble telling good news. This was definitely not one of those times.

"But," he continued, "Although Carnivora usually hunts alone, historically he has had control over a cult of powerful sorcerers and often hires lesser demons for physical tasks."

"So, lots of magic," I summed up for everyone's benefit, "lots of demons, and no slayers allowed."

Sighing, Giles replied, "Yes, that's about it. Oh, and Dawn says he's sure to have some pretty nasty wards up, so extreme caution should be taken as you approach this dungeon, if Spike still believes that's where you're headed."

"Yeah," I insisted. "And he says we're coming up on some caves, so we're probably close."

"Oh dear," he muttered in that Britishy way before asking, "Would you put Bethany on the phone? I have a few quick spells for her."

"Sure thing," I nodded, shining my flashlight around before finding the witch. I knew Bethany was pretty good, but she wasn't Willow, and that scared me. I knew why Wills had to leave, and I even made myself be one of the people pushing her out the door, but I missed her here. She was powerful and always so smart about everything. But Willow was gone and Buffy was gone and Giles didn't want the job and now I was in charge. Oh, man, we had to get them back! I couldn't let the guy who had almost failed high school geometry be the guy in charge!

* * *

While the Watcher scared the piss out of the humans, I stepped away from the group, leaned in the shadow of a tree and pulled out my phone. It rang three irritating times before Angel answered, "You alright, _cor_?"

I smiled at the pet name and the worry in his voice before answering, "Aye, luv. All my bits and bobs still in place. You?"

"I'm losing my mind, being stuck here," he admitted in a growl.

"If it makes you feel any better," I told him, "I'm goin' outta m' mind here as well. Don't quite know how to do this without you anymore."

A shaky breath hissing over the line, Angel asked, "Promise me something?"

"I'll get her back," I insisted, "like I said I would."

"No. Promise me you won't be stupid about this mission, that you won't be stupid about her." Taking another sharp breath, he whispered, "Promise me you won't be _you."_

"Alright, pet," I whispered back. "Despite the insult in there, Angel, I promise."

My boyfriend laughed sadly and said, "You know what I mean."

"I do," I replied. "And I knew you'd be heavily into brooding by now. So I called to tell you to knock it off."

He laughed louder this time, thought the sound was still sad and restrained. "What should I do instead?"

"Dunno," I replied. "Some of that Tai Chi crap? Clean the bloody bathroom, drink yourself straight into a stupor, or just picture me naked and wank off a dozen times, I don't care. I don't want to worry about you losin' it, yeah? Gotta keep my mind on the job at hand."

"Right," Angel replied. "Yeah, okay. I'll be fine, I promise." After a moment's pause, he said, "Try to stay in contact with us?"

"Do my best," I assured him before we exchanged our goodbyes and hung up.

He hadn't sounded as disgusted with me as I thought he might. In fact, he hadn't sounded disgusted or disappointed at all. Only worried. Maybe he wasn't letting himself think about the conversation either. Maybe it would take even more time to really sink in and I was going to go through all of this trouble getting Buffy back only to have him leave after I got home. But that thought was stupid, wasn't it? Bloody imbecilic, yeah. No one in their right mind would make their lover promise to be careful and smart only to kick said lover to the curb afterward. Would they?

No, it was a stupid thought, and I'd promised not to have any more of those until I saw him again. And I was generally pretty good at keeping promises, so I might as well keep this one, too.

* * *

It was a long time later – a day or two, I would guess, though I couldn't be sure in the darkness – when he came back. Everyone was starving and weak, despite one girl's frantic whispers that he'd never kept her so long without food. Every inch of my body hurt and I had to pee so badly that my whole midsection felt it every time I moved, but I wouldn't wet myself yet. Not while I could still help it.

I'd been trying, on and off, to pull my chains from the wall, but they were just too strong. Maybe if one of the other slayers had been able to reach, we could have done it together, but with just me, it was impossible. These chains had been built for slayers, not for normal human girls.

When the big guy returned to the dungeon, he creaked open the door again and that single light was a torch this time, blinding me as it bobbed forward. "Good evening, Slayer Buffy Summers," he murmured smoothly, voice sounding almost seductive in a way that made me physically ill. And then, I caught sight of him, a giant hump on his back, a walking stick in his other hand, and a face that made me shiver in disgust. He was somewhat more human than a lot of the demons I've seen, but still very clearly demonic. His nose was wide and long, almost like a hoagie roll, and it hung over thick disgusting lips that parted in a smile to reveal sharp, pointy teeth. On either side of that monstrosity of a nose, sat two big eyes, completely dark as far as I could tell in the dim light. There might also have been shaggy hair all around his face, but I couldn't be sure.

Hating everything about this monster, especially the way he had me tied up, I snarled, "What do you want this time, you overgrown weasel? Come to gloat some more?"

"Oh, beloved," he hissed, letting me know I was anything but loved and cherished by this creature, "you know me so well."

"I don't even know your name, asshole."

Chuckling, he replied, "I am known by many names: Honeytongue Firestaff," he drew very close to me, his breath hot and reeking of sulfur, like burning tires, "Baron of Hell, Night Roamer, Moon Gnawer, Curse of the Lord, Swallower of Heaven, Slayersbane," before this last one, he drew a raggedy, proud breath, "Carnivora."

"Hey, good for you," I shot back, trying not to breathe in more of his foul halitosis than I had to. "I've just got the one name. It's fine, though. My mom picked it out."

The demon laughed, a short, sharp, deep and dark noise that I fought not to shiver at. I wouldn't give this bastard the satisfaction. Never in a million years.

"So, hey?" I asked, as casually as I could. "Can I call you Frank or something? All that other stuff is quite a mouthful."

"You may call me Carnivora," he replied before inhaling creepily through that big nose of his. "Ah! So sweet, my girl."

"Yeah. It's called regular bathing," I smirked. "You should try it some time."

Chuckling again, the demon backed off and said, "You're a funny one, aren't you? Oh, this is going to be exquisite."

"I have to warn you," I told him, keeping a lid on my fear like any good slayer would do. "I bite. I'm a biter."

"Even better," he whispered, approaching the girl to my right. Holding up the light, he cooed, "Slayer Suzanne Shipwright-Brown. I've had my eye on you for awhile now. Your mother says hello."

"What?" Suzie cried. "What the fuck did you do to my mom?"

"Oh, don't worry. She's a little old and a little too mundane for my tastes," Carnivora assured her. "Though her blood would look lovely sprayed across those rooster-print curtains in the kitchen, wouldn't it?"

"No," Suzie gasped softly, sagging in her chains. There must have been enough truth in what Carnivora said to get to her, because hardly anything fazes Suzie.

The monster moved on, towards the girl chained up across from me. "Slayer Deirdre La Mott. _Parlez vouz anglais_?"

"Yes," the girl replied, her voice low and her accent heavy on the 'y'. I didn't recognize her, and although she was older, maybe nineteen from what I could see, she must have only been called recently. Poor girl! She probably didn't even know why she'd been taken. "Vaht do you vahnt from me, you 'orrible creature?"

"Oh," Carnivora laughed happily, ignoring the ice in this Deirdre's voice, "what _don't _I want, lovely?" He shuffled close to her and used a stage whisper I'm sure he wanted me to hear. "You are all mine now, and it looks like I'll be feasting for years. So tell me, do you want to be one of the first, or one of the last?"

The girl stayed quiet, though I could see her wide eyes flashing in the light reflected from Carnivora's torch. He smirked, tossing me a victorious look. But then he turned back to Deirdre and in a low, cruel voice said, "Do you know, my dear, what a slayer-girl's flesh tastes like?"

"Non," she gasped. "Mon dieu, non!"

The demon smiled at her horror. "I've had millennia to come up with a substitute, you know. Something to tide over the cravings until I find another one of you," he brushed a clawed, grimy, finger up and down the underside of Deirdre's arm. She shivered and he said in another stage whisper. "The closest I've found is ripe nectarine, warmed and bathed in blood. Texture's not quite the same, but it's just as sweet, only with a sour kick that's deliciously addicting. You really should try it..." Deirdre pursed her lips and stuck her chin out at Carnivora bravely, but someone else in the darkness retched, and I had to admit I had a difficult time keeping my own stomach in check.

"Leave them alone," I growled, turning the demon's attention back to me.

"Or what?" he chuckled, shuffling back towards me. "No one's coming for you, Miss Summers. No one _can_ come for you here. And by the time your witch friend finds this place, you'll be quite dead. All of these girls will get to listen to your screams and know that if you can be broken, anyone can be."

"Not gonna happen," I insisted. He wasn't giving my friends enough credit, and he certainly wasn't giving me enough credit. I wouldn't break down and scream for him, no matter what, because if these girls gave up hope, none of them were going to get out alive. "Never."

* * *

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	5. Tears Never Helped Anyone

**Carnivore**

Chapter 5 – Tears Never Helped Anyone

"Look, Harris," the vampire started out, and I sighed, knowing what his complaint would be. "As much as I would love to revel in the warm sunlight of early morning with you fine people, I've gotta get inside. _Right now_."

"I know, Spike," I told him. "I know. But Giles says he'll be here any minute. And if we go breeching the wards before everyone's here, we'll get clobbered."

"And that's all well and good except for one fact," he snarled and I rolled my eyes.

"I know, I know. Big dusty pile that used to be Spike-shaped," I nodded with a grimace, wanting to let him go, but at the same time not wanting to screw up the plan. "You're sure right n-"

"Fuck yes, right now!" he insisted, stalking away from the group and towards the caves, hunching his jacket over his head as he went.

With another sigh, I turned to Bethany and told her, "I'll go in with him. You guys wait for Giles?"

"Gotcha," she nodded with a grim smile. "We'll be ready to come after you as soon as they get here."

"And be ready to fight, like, now. Just in case we trigger an alarm. Unless you can tell where the wards start?"

Shaking her head with a shrug. "Could be fifty yards ahead of here, could be fifty yards into the cave system. The same magic that messed with our scrying spell makes it difficult to tell. It's all really fuzzy."

"Okay. Great. Keep working on that," I muttered. "I'll make sure Spike doesn't get us into too much trouble." So, leaving the group in Bethany's capable (but not Willow-capable) hands, I jogged after Spike as quietly as I could, suddenly appreciating how much brighter out it was than I'd realized. No wonder the vamp was freaking out, despite his sometimes-cavalier attitude about being out and about in the sunlight. Today he was actually acting a little…responsible. Weird.

I caught up to Spike just after he reached the shadowy entrance of a cave in the rocky bluff ahead and wondered how much longer the batteries of my flashlight would hold out. I was already on the second set, but I suspected the first set had been run down when Andrew borrowed the light to put on an impromptu shadow puppet show in his history class. In any case, I switched on the light and told Spike, "Don't go too far in yet, Peroxide Brain."

"Yeah," he nodded, turning back to face me now that he was safe from the sun. I'd been expecting a fight or a smart remark and when it didn't come, I raised an eyebrow at him. In response, he asked, "What?"

"You okay? You're acting weird," I pointed out, finding a somewhat flat rock and sitting on it to rest my aching feet. Walking through the woods all night had not been my idea of a good time, but for Buffy, I'd go through almost anything.

"My girlfriend's been kidnapped, Harris," he sighed. "How d'you expect me to act?"

Shamed by his words, I cleared my throat and apologized, "Sorry, man. Let's just pretend I stopped at asking if you're okay."

Spike snorted and sat down a few feet away from me, dropping his head into his hands. He opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something, when a loud boom shook through the cave. After a moment, I realized that it was a spell that had gone off in the woods outside, and that now there were swarms of guys out there, blocking us off from the rest of the group.

"C'mon," Spike grunted, jumping up and grabbing my arm to pull me deeper into the cave.

"But!" I protested. "We need to go help!"

"We need to find Buffy," he growled back, pushing me into a little alcove so we were both hidden from the entranceway, where a quick look told me at least a dozen demons with torches were searching for us.

"Yeah," I whispered, hiding again and hoping the demons couldn't hear either my voice or the crazy-scared beating of my heart. "I'm guessing that worrying about breeching the wards is a moot point by now."

"Can you get your people to distract them?" Spike asked, tapping the radio at my hip as he pressed himself against the cave wall beside me. "Don't think I can take them all, mate."

"Sure," I said, unclipping the radio from my belt, turning down the volume, and whispering into it. Bethany agreed to cause a big distraction until Giles and his sorcerers got there to help.

"Just sit tight, Xand," she told me. "We've got this."

"No," I shook my head, meeting Spike's eyes in the dim light. "We're going after Buffy. Just keep them busy as best you can."

"But…" she started to protest and I switched off the radio. After a few moments, more explosions filled the woods outside and the demons at the entrance were drawn back toward the mouth of the cave.

After another minute of watching them, Spike concluded, "Just guarding the entrance. We'll worry about those wankers later, Harris."

"Yeah," I nodded, following when he led the way deeper into the cave, switching my flashlight back on when we turned the corner and lost all light from the surface. "Let's go find our slayers."

* * *

Giles, Dawn, Andrew, and any other non-slayer with any mote of magical ability left the castle in the middle of the night, hurrying toward the fight to get Buffy back. I thought about stowing away with them or just following after, or speeding past them in my haste to get to Spike and help him, protect him. But there were still hundreds of slayers left here who could be vulnerable to attack if I left. And, Faith told me that two more squads were due to arrive in the morning from far-flung outposts. Buffy had called everyone back to the castle, and I was in charge of protecting them.

The only people I wanted to protect were first Spike and second Buffy. I wanted to be able to worry about them first and everyone else last. But I couldn't do that in good conscience. The damn soul wouldn't let me.

The thing was, not even Angelus wanted to leave them there, in Carnivora's grasp. _He_ wanted to be the one to break Buffy and kill Spike. He looked forward to it, to the next time my soul took a vacation. Just as they were mine, they were his as well, and the demon couldn't care about a bunch of snot-nosed vampire slayers that would probably end up killing me in my sleep one of these days. Not when he could do something about it, go after Buffy and Spike and get them back from the demon who dared take what was ours!

Of course, Spike had gone of his own free will, and maybe he would get her back from her kidnapper. But I had this sinking feeling that I couldn't shake. Spike was my connection to the Powers that Be, which meant his visions were meant for me to do something about. I was missing the mission, stuck here babysitting. At one time, just knowing that the Powers wanted me to forge on and follow Spike into the depths of the place where Buffy was being held prisoner, would have been enough for me to go. But I'd been burned by the Powers too many times in the past five years. There were too many things that could go wrong, either by accident or design.

Just as I'd asked Spike to be smart about getting Buffy back, I had to be smart about staying where I was needed most. Even if it meant losing my soul mate. The thought was crushing and unbearable before Faith got the call.

We stood around in the command room, waiting for any word from the soldiers in the field and trying not to obsess about it. Faith watched as a team of slayers tracked Giles' GPS as it inched closer and closer to where Spike and Xander were waiting for him. The approaching daylight made my skin itch slightly, and even though I was inside and perfectly safe, it made me wonder where Spike would spend the day.

When Bethany called, Faith had the phone on speaker, leaning over the desk next to another slayer and trying to help the two groups find each other. But suddenly, as soon as Faith answered, Bethany cried, "Get them here, now, Faith! We've got contact with the enemy!"

"How the fuck did that happen?" Faith asked, her voice angry and her brow furrowed. "I thought you were staying away until backup got there."

"Spike had to go inside because of the daylight," she explained, and my heart sank. Something had happened to him! Oh, fuck, what was it? "He and Xander went into the cave and must have triggered an alarm. We're drawing fire away from them, but I don't know how much worse this is going to get."

"So Spike's still okay?" I asked her loudly.

"Last we heard, yeah," the witch shouted back, breathing heavy when a loud noise erupted on her side of the line. "But Xand's radio doesn't work from underground. It's not powerful enough. And, I think he turned it off."

"Why would he do that?" Faith asked her, patting my shoulder without meeting my eyes, like she knew how upset I was getting.

"I'm guessing so that he wouldn't accidentally draw attention if it went off at the wrong time. Or because he didn't want to hear what I had to say…"

"Damn it!" I cried. "Those are the same reasons we lost Buffy! How _could_ he…? Argh!" To prevent myself from starting a fight with the slayers in the room, I left, storming back to my office so I could try to cool down.

Spike was in trouble! And I wasn't there to get him out of it! If the sorcerers were battling Carnivora's people, who would go in after him? Who would make sure he was okay? Who would make sure he was keeping his promise to be smart about rescuing Buffy?

Growling in frustration as I slammed the office door behind me, I took the Aegis out of my pocket and carelessly threw it across the room, wincing when it clanged off the stone wall at the far side of the room. The golden bowl fell to the carpeted floor and wobbled around for a few turns before settling to rest upside-down. Sighing at the uncomfortable prickly feeling spreading through my body, I crossed the room and picked up the artifact, turning it over in my hands.

Willow had said before she left that this bowl was the source of the field protecting us from Belial and his people, but that it was my soul powering the thing. That's why it felt weird and painful not being in contact with it. The further behind I left the Aegis, the more of my soul it would have to drain to keep up its protection. I'd asked her if it would ever end up destroying my soul, or ripping it away from my body, because that would be undesirable, for everyone.

"No," she'd said, examining the Aegis by holding it up to her eye level. "If you get too far away, all the literature says that the pain will stop your heart."

"Oh," I replied. "I guess we don't have to worry about the heart-stopping problem…"

"Yeah, but the pain part can't be very nice," Willow shook her head. "If you were human and your heart stopped, your soul would cross over dimensional lines and the field would go down. I think that as long as you stay here, on Earth, everything should be fine. But just in case, I'd recommend keeping this thing," she handed it back to me, "as close as possible until I get back and figure out a solution."

"What's saying there _is_ a solution?" I asked her harshly. "I could be stuck to this thing _forever_, Willow."

"I know!" she cried in exasperation. "I know, Angel! I'm _sorry_ we sent you after it without knowing the consequences. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to fight him off on my own."

Oh, those words broke through the red haze and I lost my anger suddenly. Bending down to peer Willow in the eye, I insisted, "No one expects you to be able to fight an archdemon. You're not a god, Willow. You're human."

"We'll see," she muttered, picking up her things and leaving my office with one last wave. And now she was gone, and I couldn't ask her how far away I could get before the Aegis' protection gave out.

I needed to hear his voice and it seemed more important than anything ever had been, so I set the Aegis on the corner of my desk and sat down, grabbing the phone there and dialing Spike's number by heart. So many things I could remember about him from heart, and there was now a very real possibility that I would never get to see those things again. I would never get to touch him, hear him, laugh with him, taste him, or smell him.

When his phone didn't ring, but went directly to voice mail, Spike's message said, "I probably don't want to talk to you right now, whoever the fuck you are. In the off chance that I do, tell me what you want and bugger off. And if this is you, pet, I bloody well didn't mean to sink your car. I swear!"

He'd changed it since the last time I'd heard this message, and the suddenly apologetic tone in his voice made something snap and I broke down into tears, slamming down the handset before it recorded me sobbing on Spike's voicemail. I couldn't stand for this! I couldn't sit here and just _leave_ him to be caught and killed. I couldn't sit here and do what felt like nothing, crying at my desk because my lover was in very real trouble. No!

Growling, I set the Aegis in the center of my desk, stood up, grabbed a weapon, I didn't really care what, and shrugged on my long leather coat. And I left. I took one step at a time away from the Aegis and toward the garage. I kept my eyes forward and away from anyone I passed in the hallways. No one would question me besides Faith, and she was busy in the Command Room.

Every step felt worse, a creeping discomfort that wasn't quite painful as I grabbed the keys to one of the faster company cars (since mine was still sitting at the bottom of the lake behind the castle). No one stopped me as I got in, making sure this was one of the cars with necro-tempered glass, and started the engine. No one stopped me as I left the garage and pressed the button to open the gates so I could leave. No one stopped me.

The pain started in half a mile from my office and got steadily worse. But it didn't matter. It couldn't. Not before I knew for a fact, that Spike was safe. I put that pain in a little box in my mind and steadily ignored it. I had to make the box bigger and bigger as I drove, but I always left a little space for that one singular purpose – find him, protect him, _keep_ him.

* * *

I didn't want to fall asleep. I hadn't known that I _could_ fall asleep while chained to a wall, but exhaustion took over and without any light, I couldn't tell for so long at a time whether or not my eyes were open. I fell asleep, and I dreamed. But these were not prophetic slayer dreams or nightmares. They were an escape from the nightmare. They were memories and hopes.

I dreamt of Angel laughing. I dreamt of Spike lying at peace beside him. I dreamt of Dawn and her slayer working together. I dreamt of Willow teaching again and Xander laying out plans for a mission. I dreamt the things I didn't think I'd get to see again. I dreamt of my mother.

When I woke up, my pants were cold and wet and my bladder was blissfully empty. Damn it. God fucking damn it!

I was going to get out of this and then I was going to find this damn demon and hack him into itty bitty pieces! And then douse those pieces in gas and set them on _fire!_ Carnivora would die slowly at my hands and I was not crying! No! Tears never did anyone any good!

"Stop it!" I hissed out into the room. "Crying serves no purpose, girls!"

No one answered, but some of the small whimpering sounds continued. It was just so _dark_!

* * *

We'd been walking closer and closer towards Buffy for a few hours when Xander asked me, "What were you gonna say earlier?"

I turned back to stare at him in surprise. He'd remembered that? I'd almost confided in _him_, the whelp, the pain-in-the-ass kid who'd threatened to kill me more times than I could count. And now he was asking after me again? "What's it to you?" I asked harshly. I didn't need this crap. Not with Buffy being tortured and Angel breathing down my neck from hundreds of miles away.

Such a big part of me wanted to run back to him, but my heart broke at the thought. I loved him more than I could contain in my tiny little brain, but somehow I loved her too. Why did I have to be so good at it? Why couldn't I be hard-hearted like a proper vampire? Why had I got my soul, when it could make me feel like this? When it could tear me apart with so little effort?

"You're being awfully quiet, Spike," Xander pointed out, following as we took another turn in the maze, following my nose.

"It's just..." I started and then stopped, realizing that I'd almost let the words escape. This was none of his business, even if he was Buffy's best mate. That didn't mean he had to be one of mine. I had Angel and I had Buffy and I had Fred and Dawn and maybe Willow. I didn't need Xander, of all people.

But he kept pressing for more, asking as if he cared, "What is it?" When I shook my head and turned to move forward, he stupidly tried again, "C'mon Spike. We're in this together and we'll get her back. Just let me know you're not too upset to fight, huh?"

"I can fight!" I protested, growling back and glaring daggers at him. Xander didn't back down, just meeting my eyes insistently in the dim light, like he knew so much about what I was going to do.

Fuck.

I sighed and eventually looked away, saying, "I've made Angel a few promises, mate. And I'm just starting to think maybe I can't keep them."

The boy pulled a face and asked, "What sort of promises?" like he was disgusted. Oh, he went there, huh?

"You," I rumbled, pointing at Xander in emphasis, "have a bloody dirty mind, Harris. No wonder you and Anya got on so well."

"Yeah, thanks for bringing her up," he muttered, and I realized that I'd been lashing out at him. Well, he deserved it! "Her death wasn't at all traumatic for me or anything. Not to mention seeing her and you together. Ugh!" Okay, maybe he had a point.

"Sorry about that," I said, sighing and moving forward again. Damn soul! Making me feel sorry for things I'd done on the spur of the moment. Should have been able to take back mistakes I'd made before the soul – like sleeping with Anya. Wasn't fair, really. "I wish I could just claim it was the lack of a soul," I told Xander as we walked, "but we both know that's not true."

"Well, thanks," he replied, sounding right confused by my apology. Served him right for trying to get into my head with all those questions. I already had too many people in there.

But then, I saw the demons coming down the tunnel towards us and grabbed the boy by his torch-arm, switching off the light and pulling him back into a passage we'd passed a few paces back. "Shut it, whelp," I hissed when I heard him draw a breath like he was going to speak. "Or they'll find us."

I led the boy through the darkness, growling when he stumbled over something and I had to set him back on his feet. A dozen yards in, I stopped us, listened for a moment, and whispered, "This should be good enough." I slapped the torch into Xander's hand and backed up a few steps to crouch down, resting against the rocky wall of the passage. "We'll wait here for them to pass."

"Right," he agreed, fumbling around until he turned on the light and shone it directly in my face.

"Oi!" I cried as loud as I dared. Could never be sure how a voice would carry in a tunnel system like this.

Xander licked the light away from my face and to the ground, lighting up the space around us just enough that when my vision cleared, I could see his face. "Sorry, Spike!" he muttered. I grunted in response.

We sat in silence for two blissful minutes before Harris got bored and went and asked me, "So what did you promise?"

Heaving a breath, I tried to weigh the merits of lightening my mind on someone like him and what it might cost me in the long run, but I just ended up shrugging and sighing, "To bring her back. But then," my voice grew louder despite the situation and I reeled it back in, "the wanker made me promise not to be stupid about her and get myself dusted. I..." I growled and stood up, pacing away from Harris for a moment.

The boy gasped a little and blurted out, "He'd rather have _you _back than Buffy? Wow. That's kinda...difficult to wrap my brain around."

"You and me both, Harris," I muttered, hands on my hips and head hanging.

Carefully, he asked, "Isn't that a good thing? Knowing he loves you that much?" Was he finally getting over how disgusted he felt about what Angel and I meant to each other now? Or did his words stink of personal pain? Like I cared…

Getting back on the topic of me, I complained, "It's bloody infuriating, is what it is! Stifling! Soddin' forehead thinks he's so good at loving people, tellin' 'em what he thinks they wanna hear? Then tying my hands and making me choose to back off when it's 'er life on the line? Don't want to make that choice, now do I? Always been stupid over both of 'em, right from the start. Because that's what love does, mate! Gets all your thoughts wound up in what your heart wants! Drains the blood from your brain to power other parts o' the anatomy and makes you as stupid as a bloody caveman!"

"Uh," Xander stammered, under my barrage of words, watching me pace the cavern tunnel, hands still on my hips. After a thoughtful moment in which I considered whether I could get away with killing Xander so he could never repeat what I'd just said, the boy asked, "What exactly did Angel say?"

We were actually having this conversation? Fine. With a huff, I replied, "Git said don't be stupid about Buffy. Told me not to be me."

The whelp bloody laughed at me, before promptly stifling the sound when I glared at him.

"So he didn't say don't go after Buffy and get yourself killed. He said don't be stupid about doing it," Harris pointed out. "So let's think of a _smart _plan, and go with that."

What? That was… Confused and angry, I snarled, "Not how Ange meant it! And we're not exactly the brain trust of the operation here, Harris," I pointed out, stopping my pacing and leaning against a stone wall to look at him. "We don't even know what we're up against, besides a cult of heavy-duty sorcerers and some demons. What if we can't find her?"

"Hey!" Xander cried, jumping up to glare at me from only a foot away, using his height against me. Bloody hell. But then he opened his mouth and started spouting good old Scooby mantras, "We'll find her! I'm giving you no other options, alright?"

He was still so young, even after all those years at the hell mouth. He still believed we could all get out of this unscathed, with Buffy intact. He didn't know what that demon was probably doing to her right now. He didn't have someone at home to disappoint if he didn't come back. He just didn't get it. And yet, I couldn't help but want to believe in Xander's optimism, in the absolute certainty that we could save her, and do it right. I watched him for a few more minutes, trying to convince myself he was right before sighing and saying, "How do we come up with this plan?"

* * *

_A/N: Please review!_


	6. Heroism in Waiting

**Carnivore **

Chapter 6 – Heroism in Waiting

I should have known better than to follow a vampire into a cold, dark, dank cave. I lived in Sunnydale the first twenty-three years of my life, had been fighting the monsters with Buffy for almost a decade, and still I stupidly followed Spike into the darkness. Of course, he was a "good guy" now and was leading me toward Buffy, but that didn't completely make up for the fact that I should have known better. What can I say? When Buffy's life is on the line, I get stupid, too. Always have.

But this particular instance had me lost, in a dark cave system, with hardly any battery left in my flashlight, following Spike. See? Stupid!

After we'd been wandering around for what felt like hours, I blurted out, "We're lost! We're going to die in here!"

"Not lost!" Spike insisted. "She's getting closer, mate. I can smell it."

"Well, good for you," I complained, wanting to stomp behind him like a two year old. What? I was getting really hungry! "But some of us are thinking maybe we should try to find our way back to the entrance and try again."

"What, and waste another hour trying to find her?" Spike growled, leading me to the left when our passage ended in a larger cavern. The tunnels and caves were pretty rough, but definitely kept up by someone, because the trail was relatively flat and not too difficult to walk, for the most part.

Then, when the meaning of Spike's words sunk in, I pulled my sleeve back from my wrist and shined the light on my watch. "How the hell has it only been an hour?"

"Shh!" Spike hissed back at me. "Comin' up on somethin' else now, Harris! Be a good lad and try not to attract any attention, eh?"

Lowering my voice to a whisper, I got closer behind Spike and asked, "What is it?"

"Quit breathin' in my ear, you git, and I'll tell you!"

"Fine," I said, backing off and raising up my hands in surrender. Spike just sneered and put his nose in the air again, taking a deep breath.

"Mostly vamps," he whispered back. "And some other demons. Buffy's close." After walking ahead a few more feet, Spike said, "Oi. Turn off the light, would ya, mate?"

Knowing that turning off my flashlight while lost in a dark cave with a predator was the bad idea to end all bad ideas, I still followed his directions. I suppose it was because I trusted him, which was weird for me. I'd worked with Spike before, but never really _trusted_ him. No matter how much help he could be on patrols, I hadn't trusted him even a tiny bit until he got his soul. And even then, it was uncomfortable having him stay in my apartment. I kept thinking the whole thing was some big joke and one of those nights, he'd go ahead and kill me in my sleep. But Buffy trusted him, now more than ever. So I guess, if I trusted Buffy's judgment (which I did, most of the time), then I should trust her vampire. Damn it.

As my eyes adjusted to the absolute darkness of the cave, the passage ahead of us grew much brighter than anything else. Those demons and vampires Spike smelled must have had their own lights. I desperately wanted to turn mine back on (because really, how could those other guys see it way over here and around the corner?) but Spike crept forward and into the passageway to get a better look.

I didn't want to be left alone in the dark, so I followed him, hating how silently he could move when he wanted to and keeping one hand on the center of his back so I couldn't lose him. Being so sightless had me twitchy and paranoid right away, making me convinced that there were spiders or something else tingly on the back of my neck, when there was actually nothing there. As we walked forward, the light got brighter and brighter and I could start to hear movement and soft voices ahead. Spike led me to the more hidden side of the passageway, and sighed, "Big iron door ahead, Harris. Guarded, too."

"Fantastic," I muttered back at him, happily keeping my own hidden self behind Spike. "Guards. What will they think of next?"

Then Spike whispered, "I think I can hear Buffy," hanging his head around the corner and cocking it. "Aye, that's her voice, alright."

"What's she saying?" I asked breathlessly. "Can you tell?"

Spike listened for a few more moments before replying, "Somewhat about keeping up hope. That help is comin' soon."

"She's waiting for us?" I cried before gasping at the noise and clapping a hand over my mouth. Quieter, I whispered, "At least she's still talking."

"Aye," Spike grimaced. "But God only knows how we'll find 'er. The vision I had..." trailing off, he shivered, pulling in on himself for a moment before taking a deep breath. Man, I did not envy him at the moment. "Problem is," he spoke up after a moment, "I reckon there's about a dozen demons guarding the door. Too many to get through."

"Yeah," I agreed with a sigh. I would probably have trouble with just one or two, and I doubted Spike could take more than maybe four at a time. "We'll have to either think of something smart or go try to get help. Maybe our people are getting somewhere with the battle outside."

"Maybe," Spike muttered, putting his back against the wall and sliding down it to sit on the ground. After I joined him, Spike said, "Think we need some sort o' distraction. Draw most of 'em away so we can get in there and free those slayers. Then, they can help us finish the battle."

With a shake of my head, I pointed out, "They've been in there since yesterday afternoon. We might not want to depend on thirsty, starving soldiers to fight this battle with us."

"So what's your suggestion then, Harris?" Spike asked me, almost spitting with annoyance. "Take time out for a cuppa once we get in there?"

"Just giving you the facts," I snarled back. "I don't want to get any of us dead either, man."

"Fuck," Spike muttered, peering around the corner again. "We can't just sit here and wait!"

"And yet, that's what we're doing," I pointed out, letting my head fall back against the cold cave wall with a gentle thump.

As the moments passed by in silence, I tried not to imagine what Buffy was going through, and failed horribly. I pictured her getting hit, bitten, cut, like she had been so many times before. I flashed back to the time I was captured by a lady demon and hung to bleed out over the hell mouth. It ended up being Spike's blood that opened that damn seal, and I almost felt grateful towards him. Or maybe proud? Buffy said he never gave up faith that she would come for him. Well now Buffy was the one in enemy hands and we were the ones coming for her.

It was all wrong.

Buffy was not the damsel in distress. If anything, I was, bruised masculinity aside. What with being a demon magnet and not having any special abilities, besides being able to wield a mean monkey wrench. Buffy saved me, or we saved someone else together. I never saved her!

"Quit thinkin' so loud, Harris," Spike muttered, shifting and resettling himself on the cold stone ground.

"What you read minds now, too?" I asked, totally freaked out. I thought the psychic visions were their own contained thing! Oh God, could he read all my thoughts? _Don't_ think about everything embarrassing that's ever happened to you! I said don't do it, Harris!

"No," the vampire scoffed with a chuckle. "But you're breathin' funny. It's gettin' on my nerves."

"Oh," I nodded in the darkness. "Right. I knew that." Sighing again, I tried to think of some way to stop thinking so hard, but all I could come up with was, "Ever seen _Star Wars_?"

A disbelieving breath storming from his nose, Spike replied, "I'm not the ponce. I haven't been living under a rock for the past hundred years. I've seen it. Why?"

"How about _Empire_?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice implying I had about as much intelligence as a spoon. "Best sequel ever made. What's your point?"

"I'm just wondering if this is a little too … I mean, you get a vision that Buffy's in trouble and it leads us to this scary place…"

"You're wondering if this is a trap?" he asked me, catching onto the comparison I was trying to make.

"Yeah."

"First off, I'm nothing like that whiny ponce, Skywalker," he replied, hitting my arm with surprising accuracy, given the pitch blackness. "Secondly, Buffy is _not_ secretly my sister. And third, if this was a trap, we'd find it much easier to get to the bait before the trap was sprung. Those blokes are standing out there with their loud voices and their bright lights, for anyone to see. If this is a trap, it's a bloody miserable one."

"Alright," I conceded, rubbing my arm where Spike had hit it. "So who gets to play Obi-Wan and draw the storm troopers away from the–"

"I don't know, Harris," he cut me off, sounding kind of pissed. "You wouldn't be able to get through this cave system fast enough to draw them away. And I don't know what sort of lock they've got on the door between here and Buffy, if you'd be able to get through it. I can't do both, so perhaps we _should_ go back for more help."

"Are you going to be able to track her scent again?" I asked, seeing no way forward and no way back.

"I don't know, mate," he whispered sadly. "With all the demons running through here muddlin' everything about? I don't know."

"We could sit tight until someone comes looking for us." I suggested. "I mean, that's always the rule when you get lost as a kid. Stay put until a grown up finds you."

"We could wait for awhile," Spike replied. "See if any more of 'em leave on their own. Wait and watch."

Chuckling softly, I asked, "Be smart about this?"

"Yeah, Harris," he agreed with a trying-to-be-casual, but-actually-distraught sniff. "Yeah.

* * *

I'm not exactly sure when things changed, but at some point, the darkness became less oppressively silent. I couldn't tell exactly what the noise was, or where it was coming from, but it was definitely there. I strained my ears and stretched out my slayer senses. Oh, lots of demons! It felt like a big group of them stood not too far away. Maybe just outside the door Carnivora had used? Shortly I wondered if there were any other doors out of this place, and soon realized that it didn't really matter, not when there were heavy shackles to escape from first. Then I could worry about where the emergency exits were.

"Can anyone else," I asked the darkness, ignoring that one girl's derisive hushing, "sense how many demons are outside this room?"

"Many," Misha said, from somewhere closer to the door. "Ten, perhaps? They feel agitated."

"Good," I insisted. "That means there's trouble outside. That means someone's coming for us."

"How?" a soft voice, one I hadn't heard yet, asked. "How could anyone find us?"

Smiling to myself, I said, "I've got some very good friends, girls. They've come through for me time and time again. They won't leave us here to rot."

"Yeah," the shush-er snorted, "but how many of us will be tortured and killed before they get here?"

"We can't think like that," I hissed. "We're slayers, and we're better than that. It's our calling to keep hope alive by fighting back the darkness. We fight for the way the world should be, not for how it is."

"What a load of crap…"

"_So_," I just about shouted, "we fight this situation as best we can, even if it's only in our own minds. Help is coming, you will survive, and the demon will not win. Just keep repeating that to yourselves. Help is coming. I will survive. The demon will not win."

Several others, probably my team members, joined me in the chant and I hoped I was doing the right thing, keeping them going like this. If I was wrong, and those demons weren't agitated because the rescue team was close, they might not be long for this world. Georgia had disappeared, and I assumed her dead. The girl in front of me said that her neighbor had been tortured and killed. If these girls had to listen to that over and over again, so very few of them would make it out the other side. And none of those who did would ever get over it. Not really.

But if we gave up now, Carnivora would win by default. No, we were called to fight and we would fight back, even if all we had were our voices. "Help is coming. I will survive. The demon will not win."

* * *

When I drove my company car as close to the GPS coordinates of the battle and parked on the side of a forest road, it was still midday. And I was in absolute agony. The Aegis pulled on my soul, giving me a taste of that burning, tearing pain that coursed through me when I first gained the soul, and then when I first lost it. But it wasn't as bad as that yet, and I had survived the pain then. I could get through this now. I could get through this and cling to the hope that Willow was right about what the Aegis could and couldn't do to me. I promised myself that if, at any point, the pain got as bad as it had when the soul was actually ripped away, I would back off, retreat until the pain subsided and I was sure my soul was still intact. I had noticed that as the days went by, it got easier and easier to be further and further away from the damn artifact. In maybe four more hours the shadow of a small mountain would cover enough of the battleground for me to get there safely. By then, maybe I could continue on a little further away from the Aegis.

Four more hours and I could find this cave Spike had blundered into, without any communication or back up, besides Xander Harris. Four more hours and I could go after him. Four more hours and then I could find him, help him find Buffy, and get back to the castle before my whole body fell apart from the inching, wracking, shivering pain. Just four more hours.

After three and a half, I made a run for it, unable to stand sitting in the car doing nothing besides hurting and worrying. I couldn't do that anymore. I'd left the castle to relieve the constant worrying over the people I loved and the hurt over how poorly I stacked up next to Spike's ability to love that deeply. So, three and a half hours was all I could take.

Covering as much skin as I could, I bolted from the car and into the shade of the forest, dancing among stray patches of sunlight as I ran for the battle I could hear ahead of me. None of the little biting hits of sunlight hurt as much as the ache in my soul and that in my heart.

Once I knew where the battle was, I skirted around it as quietly as I could. Giles and Bethany could take care of whatever was going on there. I had to get into that cave and find Spike before he threw everything away for her. Or for me, in the long run. So, I scented the air as I ran along the tree line that butted up against the mountain, searching for him as best I could.

I had to kill a few demons along the way, when they spotted me, but the magicians were making enough of a racket off in the woods, that none of my victories brought more enemies to fight. Eventually, when the sun was well and truly behind the mountain, I found the cave entrance guarded by four demons. Four demons that I could see, anyway. Four was a little much, especially when I could barely feel my arms for how painfully tingly they were. How to get past them?

The demons were more of those hairy ox-like guys I'd fought at the Cambridge museum, lending credence to the idea that Carnivora was working with Belial in some capacity. Only the archdemon could order those ox-guys around, according to Dawn's research. And here I was, without the Aegis that would have protected me from them, because I had to be stupidly altruistic about a bunch of whiny, annoying, hot-blooded, _children_!

Shit. Those were Angelus' thoughts, weren't they? But I was so close to reaching Spike! His scent hung on the air still, despite the fact that he'd had to take shelter in this cave at daybreak and it was almost dusk now. If I waited any longer, I might lose him. No, it wasn't that bad yet. I could keep going. I could distract those demons by tossing a handful of stones into the brush, and sneaking around behind them. I could stalk through the dark caverns, guided only by scent, touch and sound. I could…

"Angel?" Spike's voice whispered to me from the darkness and I half believed that the pain was making me hear voices now. But when he scrambled up and found me in the darkness, his arms tight around my chest, I knew it wasn't a hallucination. And when I found his salty-with-tears lips and kissed him, I knew my soul wasn't going anywhere. Despite the pain, despite the Aegis pulling on me, Spike had always kept me grounded.

Later on we would wonder about that moment, about how, when I sank my teeth into his skin and pulled on his blood if I was borrowing some of his soul, too, but we never figured it out for sure. All I knew was that a few mouthfuls of my boyfriend's blood and the touch of his hands on mine chased away the pain and the lingering doubt. "We do this together," I told him in a soft voice. "We go after her together, Will."

"Always," he whispered back, kissing the palm of my hand and stifling a bark of laughter when Xander asked, "You two aren't making out again, are you?"

* * *

Xander and I had been sitting in the dark cave for what felt like forever, him switching on his torch once in awhile to reassure himself that he could still see. The darkness didn't bother me, since I could feel and hear well enough and the light bouncing around from the guard's torches gave me just enough light to see by. Most of the time, though, I kept my eyes closed, listening to Buffy's brave voice saying the same words over and over again until I was mouthing them along with her. "Help is coming. I will survive. The demon will not win."

Within fifteen minutes I was crying stupid, poncey tears of frustration. She was _right there_, waiting for me to come get her and I couldn't. It was a stupid move, and I'd probably get myself dusted, and get Buffy and Xander killed. But who was coming? Who would be able to find us here? Who else would come to save her? Why couldn't I think of a better plan?

The boy wasn't doing much better, despite his faux-optimistic attitude. He kept starting thoughts about how maybe we could get through to her and then trailing off just a word or two in. Again and again we talked each other out of doing something rash and on one occasion, Xander even punched me, drawing blood. I hated him for doing it, but thanked him anyway. We didn't speak about anything else, though he did try on a few occasions.

Instead, I focused on trying to hear Buffy despite the weakening of her voice and the growing unease of the guards. Their weapons clanked and their voices growled and my chest clenched whenever I couldn't hear her over the other slayers chanting along with her. At least three times, I'd almost convinced myself that she was too weak and I had to go to her, but then I would hear her voice return and give up the bravado that almost got me killed time and time again. She was trying so hard to keep going while she waited for us, how could I try any less?

As I took a shuddering breath to sigh for the millionth time, wiping away the tears that didn't seem to stop, I felt him. Even before I heard or smelled him, I felt Angel approach. By then, I couldn't care less that he'd abandoned all those girls back at the castle. All I could think was thank God he was there. With his help, the whelp and I could get past those guards. We could rescue Buffy. We could be whole again.

"Angel," I called out quietly when I heard his shoe scuff softly on the cavern floor. And then he was _there_, hugging me tightly, kissing me, and making me feel like everything was going to be alright. Like he always does, the heroic git.

* * *

_I'm really proud of this chapter, which took me quite awhile to get right, but was worth every minute of it. Please, let me know what you think by leaving a review!_


	7. An Old Friend of Mine

_A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. I got completely obsessed with Glee, and I had to write something for that. It's called "Texts and Insanity" if you wanted to check it out._

_

* * *

_**Carnivore **

Chapter 7 – An Old Friend of Mine

As I sat in the darkness with Spike, waiting for help to come, I wondered if this was it. The end of the Scoobies. Willow was so close to going off the deep end that she'd escaped to another _dimension_! Buffy had been captured – I couldn't remember the last time that had happened – and I was stuck in the dark, unable to do anything for either of them.

I wondered if Willow would come back, and if she did, would she miss me and Buffy? Or would she move on? I hated to admit it to myself, but I also wondered about what Fred would think when she got back with Willow. We could have used her help here. Illyria made her as strong and even faster than a slayer, but she wasn't one. Carnivora wouldn't have been able to touch her. Would she feel guilty that she wasn't here with us? Would she be sad if we didn't come back?

I tried to talk to Spike about her, just a little bit, but he growled at me whenever I tried to speak, saying something about making sure he could still hear Buffy. We both sat there, going slowly crazy worrying over things we couldn't change.

And then Angel showed up out of nowhere. As happy as I was to have some help, to be rescued from sitting in the dark, I hated him for leaving the rest of the slayers like that. Buffy knew that there was a line, a time to call it quits and do whatever needed to be done for the greater good. Angel used to understand that. Hadn't he left Buffy after graduation because of the greater good? I mean, not that he shouldn't have done what he did. But him showing up here was just _wrong_! And Spike said absolutely nothing.

* * *

"I've counted thirteen demons between us and the girls, luv," I told Angel, leading him by the hand closer to the dungeon. "How d'you reckon we get past them. You gotta weapon?"

"Yeah," he whispered, and I could almost feel him wince. Letting his presence wash over me, I realised how much pain he was in and wondered how I had managed to overlook it before.

"What's wrong, Angel?" I asked, grunting when Xander ran into us. "Why all the pain?"

"Left the Aegis," he panted, licking his lips nervously, "behind."

"How does that even work?" Xander asked in a whisper that almost sounded relieved.

"No time to explain," Angel growled at him, until I rubbed his shoulder to soothe him. "Castle's safe, but it hurts like a bitch. Spike's blood helped. Satisfied?"

"All we need to worry about," I spoke up, grabbing his attention, "is whether or not you can fight." If he couldn't, what was the point of waiting for him to come? What was the point of feeling like it was all going to work out, if it couldn't? What was the point of making it this far if he couldn't help push this through to the end?

Angel sighed and cupped my face with one hand before saying, "I think fighting would actually be a relief. Get my mind off how awful this feels."

"Alright," I nodded, putting my hand over his and peering around the corner to check on the state of things. "You take the six on the right, I'll take the six on the left, and the whelp can go after the stragglers?"

"Sure," Angel nodded, with Xander grunting in assent. I knew he was a better fighter than I was making him out to be, but I had no intention of getting our lady's best friend killed while she was out of commission. Once she was free and back in top form, then I could put the boy in danger again, because she would just frown at me and then go save him. Was it sad that I even loved the way she frowned at me?

"We all know why we're here," I murmured to the two men behind me. "And we all know that the goal of today's little exercise in heroism is to get the girl and be smart about doing it. If either of you thinks we need to fall back, go ahead and shout that out, yeah?"

"Wow," the whelp snarked before chuckling. "This is surreal. How did we end up here?"

"Shut it," I growled, squeezing Angel's hand, "and follow my lead."

"God help us," Xander whispered and Angel actually laughed. He laughed! That's my job, that is!

Slipping on my demon's face, I scented the air, loving the stink of fear surrounding the demons. They were skittish. Good. Might scare a few of them off right away then. When one of them wandered a little too close to our passageway and the rest were watching a scuffle between two of the big ones, I grabbed the figure, realizing almost right away that it was a vamp. One arm around his throat and another on his mouth, I pulled the guy back toward the other two as quick as I could, letting Angel stake the bastard before he knew what hit him. When I looked up, I could feel and almost see the soul in his chest, pulsing deeply letting me know it was still him in there. I knew his soul was linked to the damn artifact and I was damn glad to see it still in there even a few hundred miles from the Aegis. Without the soul, my love was gone. And in his place? A demon even worse than this Carnivora fellow. Angelus was never very picky about his victims. Only that they be conscious and preferably terrified.

The battle, which I entered first with a silent beheading and then with a battle cry, flowed over me like water, or some flowery shit. I couldn't quite take it in, just living from second to second, enemy to enemy, knowing that I had to be there on the other side for Angel. So I could help him get to Buffy. So we could save her together. We _had_ to save her together. There was just no getting around that fact, yeah?

I'd never been good on my own. Was with Dru on and off for so long. Before her it was Mother, and after Dru it was Buffy. After Buffy it was Angel, though it had always been him in one way or another. Even before I died, I'd been waiting for him. And there he was. With me now, suffering and bleeding because I needed to save our girl. And it wasn't for the greater good. It was for him. It was for me. It was selfish and stupid going after our slayer, and I promised I wasn't going to be stupid.

But the bloody bastard made the first stupid move, leaving his Aegis behind at the castle and coming after me. That gave me a bit of leeway, I reckoned. Let me get a little loose and a little above the situation as I fought. Simultaneously in the moment and out of it. With him and stuck in my own head. One ear out for Buffy's chant, louder now that he and I stormed the last few demons back against the iron door between her and us; and one ear on the ever-present thump-thump of Xander's ticker and a curiously similar pulse from Angel's soul. Had it been that way before? Making its presence known so clearly? So loudly?

I roared my fear and relief, tearing demons apart limb-from-limb when I lost my sword somewhere. Blood rained down everywhere. And not even the good kind of blood. Demon blood. All nasty and oily. Putrid, filthy, disgusting. Even the vamp blood has that taste a little. Despite what you read in those crazy romance novels, vamps do not bite each other, as a rule. Oh, there might be little exchanges between sire and progeny on occasion that you grin and bear. But usually it's like accidentally tasting earwax. Disgusting. Rotten. Dead. Soulless. Or maybe I'm remembering it wrong after tasting this new and improved Angel over and over again for the past, what, seven months? Eight? Couldn't be bothered to remember at the mo.

Then, while I was wiping some blood out of my eye, the screams started. Something was going on beyond the heavy iron door. Something disastrous. My heart up in my throat like it was trying to remember what adrenaline did to it, I finished off my last demon by breaking its neck and slammed myself against the door, trying to figure out how to open it. Barred and locked, it kept me from her, though it couldn't block out the scream that was obviously hers. God, what have I done to deserve hearing this? What?

Oh, yes. _That_. Lovely.

"Spike!" someone behind me yelled, and growling at the door one last time, I turned to look. There, fighting off a demon with some sort of axe that he must have picked up, was Xander. When he saw that I was looking, he lobbed something in my direction before retreating towards Angel, who had three demons left. Knew I was a better fighter than the old man. Even if he did have a painful handicap at the moment...

I caught what Xander threw at me, taking a moment and turning the heavy metal object over in my hands a few times before I realised it was a key. A large cast-iron key. That probably fit the door at my back. With a grunt, I married the two together, gritting my teeth as I turned the heavy bolt, my hands slippery and sticky with blood and sweat.

"Fucking work, you bloody, miserable – ah!" I growled, sighing with relief when the bolt slipped aside and the door snicked open like an invitation.

That one there, given the screams of pain and terror coming from the dungeon beyond, I would not refuse.

"But you gotta be smart about this, Will," I murmured to myself, crouching down and taking a knife from one of the fallen demons at my feet. Then, half-crawling and half-crouching, I sneaked into the dungeon, leaving behind the lights of the battle. Leaving behind Angel and Xander to finish off what I couldn't. Couldn't wait. Couldn't listen to those girls. Couldn't smell the sharp, smoky pull of slayer blood and not rush to help them. Couldn't be the monster this time. Had to be the hero. Had to let Buffy be her own hero. Had to stop whatever the fuck he was doing to them.

* * *

My throat ached and my voice grew weary time and time again as I waited for help to arrive. Where were they? Where were my boys? They were coming, weren't they? Wasn't that Angel I felt getting closer and closer? How could we still be locked up in here without help, without food, without hope besides that which I created for the benefit of the others?

That's when he came back. Of course. You know, before I became a slayer, my life wasn't nearly as predictable. It had been nice, but I'd never appreciated it. It's true that youth is wasted on the young. And being normal is wasted on the normal. Comfort is wasted on the safe.

"Sssummers," the voice hissed, drawing out his consonant as shuffling feet scraped forward along the stone floor in the darkness. Carnivora hadn't brought a light this time, so I had to follow him with my ears, my slayer sense, and – euggh – my nose. We walked by me, the cloth of his robes brushing against my feet.

"Ready to take me up on that offer?" I asked, like I couldn't really give a crap one way or another. "Let us go, and you'll probably live again to creep another day."

Carnivora chuckled dirtily, but he didn't answer, just shuffling further away until he stopped. "Ssslayer Melissa Rutlin," he hissed. "Any last words?"

"Oh, god," a girl gasped in a southern accent. "Lord protect me in my hour of need!"

"Oh," the demon laughed, "how quaint! You actually believe in this God creature? Oh, how I wish he could help you now, sweetling."

"What are you up to, roadkill-breath?" I called out, trying to call attention to myself again, even though that downer of a girl had told me what would happen.

"If you could see her," he replied, "you would see that Melissa has gorgeous blonde curls, big brown eyes and an amazing body for a human. If you could smell her," he continued, taking a deep breath, "you'd know she smells like raspberries, tears, urine, and fear. She smells like food, Ms. Summers. And yes, your little friends have accelerated my plans somewhat, but that's just fine, isn't it Melissa? "

"Help is coming," she whispered. "I will survive. The demon will not–"

"Now, that's where you're wrong," the demon insisted, the dull thud of flesh hitting flesh forcing the air from Melissa's lips. She was silent for a long time, and I thought that was the worst thing I would ever hear. But I was wrong, too.

As Carnivora shuffled in place and murmured to himself, the sound coming from Melissa's lips grew and with each passing second. Choking, wailing, screaming, the girl called out in pain and fear.

"What are you doing to her?" I called out. "What are you doing?"

Melissa's cries were horrible and ghastly. Others started screaming along with her and it was so much worse not being able to see what he was doing to them. I tried to keep chanting, to keep the girls with me, but it was so dark and the screams were so, so loud that I couldn't keep it up.

Something pulled at my voice, silencing me either with fear or power or some combination of the two, weakening me and making me curse the demon who would dare do this to me. Even though I was the head honcho slayer, the elder, the leader, I couldn't keep my voice going. The last bit of power I had, I lost to Carnivora, even if it was just a few seconds of silence, he won. He beat me and there was nothing I hated more than losing. My screams joined the others unwillingly, pulled from my throat without thought on my part. What was he doing?

Then, the demon howled, my screaming faltered, and I thought for a second that he bellowed a cry of victory, but no. There was a squelching of metal piercing flesh and the demon howled again. "How dare you attack me, vampire?" he grunted, shuffling around in the dark again, lunging for whoever it was that had attacked him. And suddenly, there was a cold body next to mine, the smell of his hair so achingly familiar and the touch of his hands as he brushed my face with tender fingertips so very welcome. He was here! He had come for me! I hadn't been dreaming an impossible dream. I had kept fighting for a very tangible reason, and he was here now.

"Get you outta here in a mo, love," Spike whispered to me, dancing away again when Carnivora barreled past. And suddenly, the demon lit up the dungeon with single grunted words, flinging spell after spell at Spike as he slipped away again and again, keeping him busy. When they turned a corner, the flares of light retreated as well, leaving us in relative darkness again. I almost expected the girls around me to start whispering or asking what was going on, but they all stayed eerily silent. A few chains rattled and a few sobs escaped frightened lips, but no one spoke.

Maybe they were all just as tired of speaking as I was. We'd kept up our end of the bargain, our chant. It was time for someone else to pick up the slack now. I closed my eyes again to listen and wait, my heart beating quickly as I prayed that Spike would be safe and smart about distracting the demon. I didn't think he could fight Carnivora on his own without getting hit, but he could lead the demon on a wild goose chase until further help arrived.

Please, God, tell me further help is coming. That would be so cool right now.

My prayers were answered when another figure stormed the dungeon, switching on a flashlight and shining it all around. "Buffy? Are you here?"

"Xand!" I cried as best I could with a hoarse voice and dry, caked over tongue. "Over here! Here ... Here!"

"There you are!" he whispered comfortingly when a flashlight shone into my face, blinding me until he dropped it away again. He held the flashlight then between his chin and his shoulder, rattling somethin metal that I saw, when my vision came back, was a set of heavy, ancient-looking keys. "This one?" he murmured, fitting one of them into the lock at my left wrist. "No..."

"Hurrying would be appreciated," I managed to croak, keeping one ear out for Spike and Carnivora, who drew close again before retreating. No way Xander could fight that thing. Not without getting hit by one of its spells. God, he shouldn't have come!

But then he found the right key, freeing my wrist and letting me wrap that arm around his shoulder, leaning on him and breathing in his familiar, homey scent as he went about unlocking the rest of my chains. When I was free and clinging to him, Xander hugged me close for a few seconds before pressing a knife into my hands. "I need to find the ones who are still alive and get them down. Watch my back?"

"What?" I asked, hefting the knife and trying to remember how to stand on my own. "What do you mean, still alive?"

With a sad little huff, Xander pointed the flashlight at one of the girls, the loud girl who had been chained up across the aisle from me, I realized. Her face was pale and her eyes clouded over, everything about her body was slack, unmoving and dead.

"How?" I asked, snagging the flashlight from Xander and finding more and more dead girls. "They were just speaking!" I cried. "They were just screaming. Why? Why are they dead?"

"I don't know," Xander whispered, taking a few steps away from me, the light going with him.

Another voice echoed at the far side of the dungeon, opposite from where Spike had led Carnivora away, "He ate them."

"Angel?" I asked, hurrying over to the vampire. My vampire. As he stepped into the room carrying a torch above his head, he looked exhausted and hurt, but that didn't stop me from flinging my arms around him.

"The demon," he said, one arm around my shoulders, letting me help him as much as he was helping me as we hobbled over to one of the dead slayers, "took their power, fast and lethal. Not like he was planning to, but just as effective."

Glancing up at this slayer's face, I saw it was one I recognized, "No! Lu? Oh, god!"

"I'm sorry," Angel whispered, kissing my hair and squeezing me tighter as he moved the torch away. Lu was gone. Why was I still the one alive?

"Hey!" Xander called. "Hey! I got one!"

Angel and I rushed over to help him, but Spike came rushing back to us, his arm hanging limply as he barked, "A little help, luvs?"

Angel dropped his torch and drew a sword from his belt, running up to meet the threat. As I figured out how to follow him, I did, stumbling one foot over the other, my blade ready to end the bastard who had killed my friend. Probably all my friends. Carnivora crashed around the corner and I realized that I still couldn't see him very well. Maybe if I could see, he wouldn't be nearly as frightening. The demon threw a spell at us, but Angel and I both managed to dodge in opposite directions. Angel got onto his feet again first, while Spike joined us, fighting with his bad arm beside Angel, so matched up to him in every way.

Sneaking around behind the fight, I crept up and knifed Carnivora in the back, right where I thought his kidney might be. If slayer-eaters had kidneys…

With another sharp howl, Carnivora cried, "Soon, my dear. Soon," and disappeared. Just freaking disappeared right in front of me!

"Did you guys see that?" I asked, wondering if he'd just managed to slip away from the light in the blink of my eye.

"Yeah," Angel sighed. "He's gone."

"Think he'll be back?" Spike asked, looking to Angel like he was god's gift, like he always did these days.

Angel shrugged and I joined them, stowing my knife and letting both vampires pull me into their arms. "I know I look awful," I whispered, "and I probably smell much worse. But thank you for coming to get me."

"Xander wanted to leave you here," Spike grumbled, running his hand up and down my side as if to make sure I was solid and real.

"I did not!" my friend called from down the corridor. "And can I get some help? Suzie isn't looking so hot."

Angel let go of me, leaving to help Xander. Leaving me in Spike's arms. "Couldn't resist coming to find you, kitten," he whispered, kissing me on the lips. "Just … just wasn't in the cards, is all."

"I knew you'd come," I whispered back, letting him lower me to the ground with his good arm, sitting beside me on the cold stone floor and holding me close.

* * *

Whispers started filtering toward us from the far corners of the dungeons, more and more slayers still alive. We'd only lost seven girls, all told once Angel and Xander set about freeing them. Giles and Bethany found us eventually, along with dozens of others who had survived the battle outside. Andrew, who managed to get a big gash on his stupid brow, a mirror image of my slayer-inflicted scar, came to talk to us. Bloody fantastic.

"All the sorcerers lost their mojo," he said, wiping the blood out of his eye and sticking that finger in his mouth to clean it away like an injured child. Or a vampire. Sodding stalker if you ask me. "And once their spells stopped working, all the demons ran away. Whatever happened in here helped us win out there."

"Yay, us!" Buffy cheered in her exhausted, bruised voice. "But he's not dead."

"No," I agreed, holding her closer and flexing my injured arm to get it to heal already so I could hug my girl properly.

"And Belial's still after Willow," she continued, burying her head against my chest.

"Aye."

Murmuring like she was about to fall asleep, Buffy said, "I should have slit his throat, instead of stabbing him in the back like a coward."

"I should have dodged a little faster," I returned, flexing my arm again and wincing at how the burned skin stretched and cracked. "But you couldn't have known he was going to pfftt away."

"Doesn't matter," she pouted, kicking out at a stone on the ground, sending it skittering away. "I lost. Twice. I hate losing."

Stroking her tangled hair as best I could, I nodded Andrew away before whispering to Buffy, "I'm just glad I got to you in time. You have no idea how long I was waiting outside that door before I could get to you. It almost killed me, luv."

"What changed?"

"Angel," I chuckled. "It's always him, kitten. Came for us, he did."

She looked around me to where Angel was speaking with Giles about something or other, the Watcher gesticulating wildly while Ange just stood before him stoicly. "What about all the others?"

"They're safe," I assured her. "Don't know how the bastard went through with it, but they're safe."

Buffy nodded against me and sighed before standing. "I need to get out of here, sweetie. Let's go."

* * *

Nothing had ever hurt as much as the Aegis tearing at my soul as I listened to Buffy scream over and over again from the dungeon. I couldn't get to her. Not yet. Not with all these demons in the way. There! Xander had the key, and then Spike had it. I just had to keep these last few demons away from him so that he could put whatever was going on in there to an end. When the screams stopped and I had finished paying my pain forward onto the bodies of the monsters dead around my feet, I followed Spike and Xander in to the dungeon, knowing Buffy was still alive but afraid my senses were tricking me somehow and I would find myself too late to save her. Again.

But there she was, standing and alive, unlike a few of these others. She grieved and she fought, she struck out at the demon that had captured her, her blow sending him away. She melted into our arms and I felt the pain in my chest let up again. She was a salve, as was he. My two … everything. He was my heart and my soul, as was she. From the beginning to the end. I just had to get them back home, where they belonged. Where I belonged now.

But there was business to attend to. Bodies to take care of, survivors to find, and one I wasn't sure we could save. "Melissa," she whispered through cut-up lips when I asked for her name. Her clothes were torn and bloody and I recognized Carnivora's smell pressed into her.

Holding out my hand until she set hers into mine, I squeezed that hand and whispered, "I'm sorry we didn't get here soon enough to save you."

Looking up in confusion, like my words didn't mean anything to her, she asked, "Why? Why did he have to do that to me?"

"It was about taking power," I told her. "Yours and the slayers around you. He needs the act to feed. I'm so … sorry," I gasped, watching her eyes flutter shut and remembering what it felt like to be that used and broken. I thought about sparing her from that pain, that everlasting guilt and shame and fear, but then her breath stopped and her heart slowed. Someone might have been able to keep her alive, but I knew from experience that wasn't what she would have wanted. So, I held her hand and let her go, looking up when Giles crouched down beside us.

"She's gone?"

I nodded sadly. "Raped and tortured. It's a mercy this way."

He sat beside me for longer than I would have liked until saying, "I've been tortured. By you, in fact. The memories can be overcome. She might have done well, eventually."

"Not when it was her torture that killed these six girls around her," I shook my head, trying not to remember how much enjoyment Angelus had gotten out of torturing Giles. I was sure Carnivora, even if he had been rushed, had gotten just as much, if not more pleasure out of breaking this slayer and the others nearest to her. "Pang Lu is dead because of what he did to this one. That guilt would have killed her sooner rather than later."

"Why her," Giles whispered. "And not Buffy?"

I thought about it for a moment, resting Melissa's hand down on her unmoving chest and covering her face with a loose cloth. "Because it would have taken longer," I finally concluded. "With us pressing down on him, breaking Buffy would have taken too long. And, I think he wanted to weaken her just enough to take her with him when he fled. He would have kept her alive for as long as possible, if he could have taken her."

Growling, the Watcher followed me when I stood, "Takes one to know one, then?" Stepping up closer to me, he asked, "How could you have left the castle unguarded? I thought you understood the greater good, Angel, or was Buffy's peril just too much for you to rationalise? I have to know this, if you're going to be working with us."

"I'm already working with you," I pointed out, before saying, "and I didn't leave the castle unguarded. Call and ask Faith. She'll tell you."

"And about Buffy? Two of our sorcerers and a Watcher were killed today trying to rescue her."

"Spike," I muttered, trying to walk away before the man caught me again. He was the reason I'd done something so foolish. He was always my reason for everything. I needed to be there, to take care of him, to love him, to save him from the impossible situation he'd put himself in. As he and Buffy left the dungeon, I caught up behind them, again noticing how Spike's touch dulled the pain.

"Let's go," I insisted, helping Buffy walk, letting Spike wrap his arm around my waist and leading them both out of the cave the way I'd come in. The sky outside the cave was almost as dark as the cave itself, except for the stars. I loaded Buffy into the back seat of my car, letting her lay down there to sleep under one of my sun blankets, taking her soiled clothes as she threw them to me and putting them in the trunk.

Everything was going to be alright? Wasn't it? The pain crept away the closer we got to home until we were a mile outside the village below the castle and I couldn't feel any pain at all. If only home didn't feel so much like a prison, I might have been close to happy, getting both my lovers back in single pieces. Instead, I had to settle for uneasily content.

It's an old friend of mine.

* * *

_A/N: So this is the last chapter of "Carnivore". The next episode, which follows directly after this one, is called "Sanctuary" and the first chapter is already posted. You can find it on my Profile page, or in the main Buffy Listing. It's an ensemble piece, including Willow, Fred, Xander, Buffy, Angel, and Spike dealing with the aftermath of the previous two episodes. I hope you'll check it out._

_Also, please don't forget to review! It was a few pleas for me to continue that prodded me into finishing up this episodes, so more reviews are always better when getting me to write more. And, thanks as always, for reading!  
_


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